我要再来一次

Chapter 45 Tell me

"I agree, but in one condition." Yu Chen said. His gaze locked on her and for some reason, Luo Xiaolei suddenly felt a queasy feeling washing over her as she froze under his gaze.

"C-condition? What is it?" she then asked hesitantly, as her lashes flickered, obviously anxious about what he was about to say.

Yu Chen bent a little as his gaze seemed to have turned sharp and scrutinizing, causing Luo Xiaolei’s heart to flutter in nervousness as she anticipated his words.

"Tell me... tell me the truth."

Luo Xiaolei’s world suddenly screeched to a halt. Her pupils dilated in response to her anxiety the moment she heard him. She was stunned. She couldn’t believe what she just heard.

Her drumming heartbeat was deafening and the silent night turned suffocating. For some reason, Luo Xiaolei felt really bad. As she stared back into his eyes, she was suddenly compelled to reflect on her actions. From the beginning, Luo Xiaolei, in the deepest part of her subconscious mind, felt that Yu Chen probably already knew that she was forced into this and yet, she still chose to lie to him when she told him she fell for him at first sight. All this time, she only thought about getting what she wanted, lying to him with her words and actions, for the sake of the twins. Luo Xiaolei never considered how Yu Chen felt about any of this.

Some part of her may have figured out that there was no way Yu Chen wouldn’t have known that she had a hidden agenda but she chose to block out those thoughts and lied to herself. She felt like she needed to push away any thought that could jeopardize her mission of getting the twins back. So she lied. To herself and to him in her desperation.

As she was forced to think about this, she felt somewhat defeated as she finally had to face the truth; the truth that anyone could have figured out right away from her desperate attempts that she had another agenda. Well, this was Yu Chen, the mighty Devil CEO, for goodness sake! There was no way he would have become so powerful if he allowed others to lie and deceive him like she did. He would have had to learn and become an expert at seeing through everybody’s fake facade to be able to find the single truth among a million lies.

But why? Why didn’t he come out and just say something? Why did he keep on letting her lie to him like this? Why did he not confront her sooner? Was it because he was waiting for her to tell him and now that he realized that she wasn’t ever planning on telling him what was truly going on, he finally decided to ask?

The way Yu Chen treated her from the very start, putting up with her ridiculous requests and the fact that he didn’t laugh at her or take advantage of her made Luo Xiaolei feel guilty. Her thoughts until now were only focused on saving the twins that she didn’t realize that she was treating this person like he was just a tool and that he absolutely didn’t deserve this.

Realizing this, Luo Xiaolei slowly moved her face down and her grip on him tightened.

"If... if I say it... w-will you..." Luo Xiaolei paused. She was scared to say it. Scared that Yu Chen would get mad and she won’t be able to save the twins anymore. This was also what made her decide to lie. She didn’t admit that she was forced either because she was afraid that Yu Chen would confront her father and make the situation turn from bad to worse. It looked like her actions were the result of her fear and when she realized it, she felt like she was given a lethal blow, because this made her see that after all these years, she actually still hadn’t recovered from her fears.

She thought she had grown stronger now that she was fighting against the world all alone, doing what she wanted. But it looked like it was still not enough. Not even close. Sure, she had managed to create her wings on her own but it turned out it wasn’t strong enough to make her fly yet and it was Yu Chen who made her realize this. He made her realize that she was still unable to unchain herself from the fear she brought with her from her previous life.

Luo Xiaolei didn’t notice that she’d been clenching Yu Chen’s clothes so tight as she opened her mouth again, still looking at the ground.

"I’m sorry. I’m scared... I’m afraid of what’s going to happen if I say it." she finally said. She was so anxious she couldn’t look at his eyes but...

"Luo Xiaolei, look at me." Yu Chen suddenly said, surprising her. She then slowly lifted her face and the moment their eyes met, Yu Chen slightly tilted his head.

"Am I scary?" he asked and Luo Xiaolei blinked multiple times, unable to process his words for a while.