BXBX NOVEL Chapter 107 - Releasing My Pain
Madeline\'s POV
As I watch the scenery outside the bus window, I can\'t contain my tears from pouring down my cheeks. I just felt glad that only ten passengers are riding the bus, and I settled myself in the last row, so no one will see me cry. I couldn\'t believe that I will be crying this much. I have been ready for this, I thought so, but I was very wrong. I fished out my phone from my bag, and I called Gina\'s number. I can tell she is still at the restaurant where she works her part-time job, I don\'t want to disturb my friend, but she\'s the only one I can turn to, especially in times like this.
"Hello! Madeline, Where are you right now?" My best friend asked me, but I find it hard to answer her because I am still crying, and I am trying to control myself, but no matter how I try to stop, I couldn\'t do it, and with trembling hands, I ended the call. And I know I make her worry, seconds later my phone is ringing, and I will feel guilty if I am not going to answer her call, and I don\'t have a choice but to receive her call.
"Hello," I softly answered her call.
"Hey, what is wrong, Madeline? I know something is off. Why are you crying, Maddie, please, tell me what is going on, you know I am in the middle of my duty, but I will be there for you if you need me." She said, but I continue sobbing.
"Madeline, please tell me where you are, and I am going to get you there. I can ask my boss to get out early. Are you okay?" She asked again.
"No, I am not fine, and I am sorry, I know I should not disturb you at this hour, but I feel so sad, and I don\'t have anyone to talk to, and I am riding a bus I came from the mental care homes, and I am having a hard time right now. I know I\'m selfish, but I need to see you, Gina. I will wait for you at the bus station at Archois city." I declared.
"Okay, wait for me there. I will meet you at the bus station, and please, don\'t do something stupid, wait for me." She responded.
"Alright, thank you so much, and I am sorry for disturbing you at this hour," I said.
"Hey, I always have time for you, you are my only best friend, and you know that you can call me any time. I am just one call away. Update me about your location from time to time, so I can estimate when I am going to pick you up." She responded.
"I am low on battery, but I am now in Hyacinth town, one more town, and I will reach Archois," I said.
"Okay, and whatever happens, You have to wait for me, and please stop crying, Madeline. I don\'t know what is going on right now, but I want you to know I will be here for you, that is certain. So, please hold on and stay strong. I know you are tough, and you can do this. I need to go now Maddie, see you later." She said.
"Goodbye, Gina," I replied, and I ended the call. And even though I only talk with my best friend for a while, I can feel that I feel a little better, and I stop myself from crying, and I know I am going to cry again once I meet her in person. But I need to contain myself and show my best friend that I am still strong. I never thought that my decision would make me so unhappy. I also realized if I lie, I will become more miserable than what I am feeling today. At least, I felt proud of myself that I did something remarkable, and I showed compassion towards Rebecca and my husband.
I get off the bus, and I look around the area, but I couldn\'t find my best friend\'s car yet, so I go to the nearest bench and sit. I feel so empty and in deep pain. And I can feel the heaviness of my swollen eyes while my nose is red. I picked up my shades from my shoulder bag, and I put them on to hide my eyes from anyone. I hope Gina will come now because I want to ask her to bring me to my favorite place where I can shout. I realize next time I should wear jeans and a shirt, So if ever I need to run away again, I can go wherever I want. Besides, wearing a dress can be so uncomfortable sometimes.
When I saw Gina\'s car, I quickly got up from my seat and walked fast, going to her vehicle.
"Madeline, next time if you are going somewhere far, please, don\'t forget to bring a power bank so that you can charge your phone. You don\'t know how worried I am if you run away again without telling me where you are going." Gina said the moment I get inside her car. She looked so gorgeous wearing a mini skirt and sleeveless white blouse.
"Yes, ma\'am, and I\'m sorry that I make you worry," I answered.
"Where do you want to go, Maddie? Just tell me, and I will bring you there." She declared.
"Can you bring me to the Archois top hills?" I asked, and she looked at me intently, and she nodded her head, and she knows why I want to go there.
"Are you hungry? We can eat here in any restaurant you want; I still have my savings when I worked at the Divenson mansion." Gina said, but I shook my head.
"I don\'t feel like eating, Gina. Please bring me somewhere where I can release all the bad feelings that I have inside." I said.
"Okay, I will bring you out there, but you have to promise me after we talk, we should eat. I know what is going on with your life now, Madeline, but you need to remember you have to eat to survive, and If you don\'t want to end up like Rebecca, you better take good care of yourself because you have to love yourself first, Madeline." She declared, and I nodded.
We are silent the entire trip going to Archois hills. Gina parked her car, and the breathtaking view usually makes me feel so good, but right now, all I can feel is the pain. Every time I felt frustrated, Gina always takes me here because she knows I want to release everything I felt. And she motioned me to get out of the car. My best friend leaned her back on her vehicle while I moved closer to the cliff, and I can see the ravine, and I felt the knots on my stomach. I was here after my mom was laid to rest.
"I hate this life!!!!!!" I shouted over and over again.
"Why! Why! Why! Why it has to be me????" I added, and I can hear the echoes of my voice. I continue shouting until I can feel the soreness of my throat. Until I could no longer take it, I started crying, and I kneel to the ground, and I felt Gina\'s arms around me.
"Shhh, Madeline, it is okay, I am here, and I am willing to listen. You can tell me anything, Maddie." She said in more than a whisper.
"Why the world needs to be so cruel to me, Gina? What have I done wrong that I need to suffer this way? I am in too much pain, and I don\'t know how to stop the anguish I feel. I try to understand everything, but why it feels like I don\'t deserve to be happy at all? Because every time I experience a little happiness, I need to undergo endless misery." I said as I try to control my tears.
"Madeline, can you tell me what happened?" Gina asked me.
"I came with Hunter and Calixto at the mental care homes, I thought I would be fine, but the moment Hunter was reunited with Rebecca and watched them kissed, my world turned upside down. I even told you before that I am ready, and I am willing to take whatever Hunter\'s decision would be, but I realized I would never be okay, Gina. God knows how I wanted him to help Rebecca, but it almost kills me watching them hugging each other. How am I going to live my life right now, Gina? Can you tell me?" I asked her, and I saw my friend\'s tears welled up in her eyes before she hugged me and stroked my back.
"Oh, Madeline, I am so sorry that you have to undergo this kind of sorrow, and there is nothing I can do to help you to take away the pain as of the moment. But I can promise you that I will be here for you, Maddie. I can feel your pain, your anguish, and most of all, your determination to face it all, cry your heart out, all you need to do is release all the pain that you are feeling right now." Gina said, and I cry harder.
"I know there are no words that can soothe you right now, but you have to fight for your right. You are now Hunter\'s wife, Madeline." She said.
"I know, Gina, but the painful truth is Rebecca was his first love before I become his wife, and I think the best way to do right now is to leave Hunter because I know he can\'t help her wholly if I am there in our house. We can\'t tell Rebecca that I am his wife because our mission to save her will be useless." I said.
"Oh, no, why it has to be so complicated. I couldn\'t believe something like this will happen in real life, and I thought it would only take place in movies." Gina responded.
"Me too, " I replied, and I felt glad that I felt better after I shouted on the cliff. This place is secluded, and I want to stay here for a long time.
"Maddie, think it over. I am not telling you to go or stay because you are the only one who will suffer and who can decide for yourself, but I want to help you in any way I can. I can stay with you in your house for the time being the moment Hunter will bring her into your home. Besides, Hunter needs you, Madeline. He loves you now, and it is impossible that he will fall out of love with you easily; he even remembers his first love, and how much more about his love for you? Just give him time to help her, and it is yet early to tell, and when it is time for you to leave from that house, I will be the one who will drag you out from there." Gina said, and I can\'t stop myself from smiling.
"I am happy to see you smile, Madeline. And we need to leave now so we can eat." She added, and I nodded my head, and she helped me get up on my feet.
"Thank you, Gina. I don\'t know what to do without you in my life." I said.
"You are welcome. You know I will always be here for you, Madeline." She said and opened the door car for me.. And we leave the hills, and I can say I feel better, and I am so thankful for my best friend for making me feel important and loved.