BXBX NOVEL Chapter 237 - Grief
Gosh.. he couldn't get rid of the image when she fell earlier.
Mars was so scared when he saw Killian pushed Emmelyn to the side and she fell on the hard ground, while Killian's body was showered by a rain of arrows.
Mars trusted Gewen's skills in archery and he should know that Gewen would not hit a non-target, but still... as a husband and father, he couldn't help but feel worried.
"Call Mr. Vitas to our chamber, NOW!" He shouted his order to Roshan who was standing by the doorway with a shocked expression. His voice moved the butler from his frozen state.
The middle-aged man hurriedly bowed down and ran toward the other wing where Ellena was treated in the guest room.
Even if Mr. Vitas was still not done treating Lady Ellena, he must immediately come and tend to Lady Emmelyn.
She was, after all, the lady of this castle, and she was pregnant with the future monarch of this kingdom.
Lady Ellena was just... a childhood friend of the crown prince.
***
When Emmelyn opened her eyes, it was already dark. She could tell from the candles lit by the bedsides. She writhed in pain and tried to sit.
Mars, who was sitting by the bed, immediately woke up.? He helped her sit and adjusted the pillows behind her back, and made sure she looked comfortable.
After Emmelyn sit, Mars crouched down by the foot of the bed and held her hand. "How do you feel?"
Emmelyn stared at him with horror. Slowly, everything was replayed back in her memory.
She remembered she talked to Killian and her brother pretended to call her a traitor to their family. He did that to clear Emmelyn from any suspicions by the people from Draec.
Killian even grazed her arm to make it more convincing. Emmelyn instantly lifted her arm to check the wound. It was just a small cut and already now bandaged properly.
Gosh... so, it was not a bad dream?
She finally realized everything that happened was very real.
Initially, her brain refused to process the situation and lied to herself, telling her that she was dreaming. Her brother didn't die.
But the wound said otherwise.
"Honey..." Mars touched her cheek with his other hand. He couldn't say anything since he knew no words of consolation would be of any use.
He felt deep regret that Emmelyn had to experience grief for the second time after her brother was killed. He could imagine how the wounds in her heart that was almost healed, now had to tear open and pained her again.
It would have been better if her family died all at once, because she would have finished mourning them together. But, after weeks of thinking that one of her brothers survived, only to lose him again tragically, must be so hard on her.
And the worst part was... again, Mars was the reason why Emmelyn lost her family.
This made all his apologies and sympathy look meaningless.
So, what if he said sorry? He was still the person responsible for her suffering.
What else could he do to alleviate her pain?
Nothing.
"I don't want to see you," Emmelyn said curtly after she found her voice. "Please, leave me alone."
She loved this man, but at the moment, she wanted to grief in private. This was.. another saddest day in her life.
"I am sorry..." was all Mars could say.
He didn't want to leave. He wanted to be here and hugged her to sleep, and calmed her with his embrace and his gentle kisses. He wanted to be here when she slept and when she woke up, to make sure she was okay.
However, when he saw the anger in her eyes, Mars decided to give her space. Maybe she still needed time and space to process what had happened.
Mars really hoped Emmelyn would understand that he had no choice. He wasn't the one who killed Killian. It was Gewen, and Gewen only did that because he thought Mars' life was in danger.
Everyone saw that Killian raised his sword to attack the crown prince and in that split second, Gewen had to make a decision to save the future king.
Even if Mars let Killian attack him, he was as good as dead when he decided rashly to attack the crown prince. There were around 50 soldiers around him who were ready to kill him.
It was nothing personal.
Killian sought his own death.
"I will be outside if you need me," Mars said as he rose. He bent down a little and rubbed her hair lovingly. "Please... let me know if you need anything."
Emmelyn looked away and didn't say anything.
Mars felt so sad. He stood there for a few moments and looked at her side profile with an aching heart.
Didn't she know that when she was sad, he was too?
Her pain had also become his pain.
Didn't she realize it?
Seeing her sad and devastated made him feel broken too...
Mars took a deep breath and turned around. He left the chamber and closed the door behind him gently.
He stopped in front of the door and tried to listen to any sounds coming from inside the chamber. Was Emmelyn crying now?
He didn't hear anything. Ahh.. now he regretted having the walls sound-proofed. He couldn't hear if Emmelyn was crying.
Meanwhile, Emmelyn buried her face in the pillow and sobbed uncontrollably. She didn't want to let people know how much she was suffering. She preferred to cry in private. This grief that she was experiencing was hers alone.