BXBX NOVEL Chapter 933: Denial
Chapter 933: Denial
"W-What are you doing?" Rowena was surprised by Raphael's actions and quickly pulled her hand away from his.
She hoped Julian didn't see it because she wished to be considerate of his feelings.
However, what surprised Rowena was that instead of being hurt or surprised at what Raphael did—Julian only let out a final sigh of relief.
Raphael's actions were given a blessing in a way by Julian. Instead of being upset, Julian instead seemed relieved and he let out one final smile and said, "Thank you."
Not a moment later, Julian finally closed his eyes.
Rowena sighed inwardly and hoped that Julian didn't get the wrong message—even though she acted cute with Raphael, it didn't mean anything to her.
She was forever grateful for all of Raphael's help, but she didn't want any other problems. Rowena threw Raphael a look, but instead of looking frustrated at her rejection, there was only a look of sorrow on Raphael's face.
While the Seventh Prince could not care about a man he barely met that passed away—he realized that Julian's death was something that would hurt Rowena. And he didn't know why, but when she was hurt, he would feel the pain too.
It was obvious that Rowena didn't understand what was going on. Julian didn't let her know, even until the moment he took his last breath.
"I'm sorry," Raphael said.
Rowena frowned at him and dragged Raphael out of the infirmary by the wrist so that Julian could get some peaceful rest without them being noisy.
The two of them ended up on the balcony from where they first landed earlier.
"You... You don't have to be sorry, it's just that—Julian likes me and I don't want to give him any more pain by thinking I rejected him and immediately cling to another man," Rowena explained. "And I don't want him to think that we're a couple—the two of us just met. I apologize if I asked for your help—but there's not much I can do for you."
Raphael smiled weakly and shook his head. As much as he wanted to let Rowena believe that Julian would wake up—it was far better for her to know the truth right away.
"It's not because of that. I wished that we were here sooner and I'm sorry about your friend—"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Rowena cut him off. "I got Julian the cure—we got the cure thanks to your assistance in the Merfolk realm. It was a panacea and he just wanted to take a nap."
"Rowena..."
Rowena's shoulders visibly shook hard and she gave him a pained smile. "Julian is going to wake up later. I don't know what you mean, Raphael."
"O-okay. I understand, Rowena," Raphael said.
He understood that it wasn't easy to accept the death of a friend. It was a concept that an immortal like him didn't quite understand yet since everyone he loved had been present and with him right from the start.
That was why Raphael couldn't even find the right words to say right now. Rowena turned her back towards him and folded her hands and leaned against the balcony's railing.
"I may have said that there's not much I can do for you—and yet I still have to try and thank you," Rowena said. "But please don't ask for something that I can't give you."
"I have helped you simply because I wish to help you," Raphael said. "That is ge
nuine. I don't want anything."
"So you don't want me to give you a kiss or anything else?" Rowena glanced at him. "Were you not expecting me to swoon in your arms and declare you as some kind of valiant man to have helped me?"
Raphael paused for a moment. He had come to save her in the Merfolk realm, that had been his original goal but...
"You've proven yourself to be someone highly capable," Raphael smiled. "What I did in the Merfolk realm—you can only think of it as some minor assistance given to you. And as for what I expect from you? Nothing."
"You want nothing from me?" Rowena asked again with a chuckle. "Then why are you still here?"
Raphael's heart pounded. "I..."
A sudden pained cry echoed in the infirmary once more—Rowena's eyes widened and she immediately ran back into the infirmary. Raphael quickly followed.
When she arrived, all of the royal guards were present as they tried to separate the King from Julian's bed.
The old man was sobbing and weeping at Julian's bed, holding his hand. It seemed like the king only held it back in when Rowena was around, but now the man was mourning and grieving.
Liam was at the king's side, a hand on his father's back and a contemptuous look at the royal doctor.
Rowena stared at the scene uncomprehendingly. "What... Why is he crying? His voice will disturb Julian from his sleep. Gosh! Hey, Your Majesty... can you please keep it down?"
"Child..." the doctor began uneasily.
"I mean he took a nap, but there's no need to cry over that—" Rowena's smile finally slipped away as she noticed the look that Liam and even Raphael gave her when she turned to look at him for support.
There was a look of pity and sorrow on their faces, and it was directed at her. Rowena looked down on the floor where numerous droplets splattered the infirmary.
And those belonged to her.
Tears unconsciously streamed down her face. No matter how much Rowena insisted that Julian only fell asleep, the royal doctor confirmed it to the king—the reality was that Julian was already dead.
Unable to accept it, and in a state of utter denial—Rowena couldn't even feel that she had been crying already. The king of Verona may have let out a cry of anguish upon the realization that he lost his son, but Rowena's heart was already torn that she didn't even realize that she was weeping.
She couldn't accept it.
"No." Rowena shook her head and gave them all a disbelieving smile. "Julian is—"
Gone.
And it was all her fault.
Rowena's fingers clawed through her hair, she grabbed and twisted them as she let out a pitiful laugh. A wail split through her throat.
"I thought it was enough, but I failed him. I failed Julian. How could I have been so arrogant to think I could do it? How did I ever believe that I could do something to help my friend?"
She did everything she could to save him. Rowena got him the panacea—but he still died.
"It's not your fault," Raphael tried to say. "Rowena... please, don't blame yourself."
"If I had done something else, then maybe things would have been different."
And yet what else could she have d
one?
So many things, in fact.
She could have listened to him when he said that they should leave. She could have returned his feelings and then maybe they wouldn't have to end up in this state.
How was this not her fault?
"Rowena," Liam tried to snap her out of it.
Her gaze fell on them, the king of Verona and his son. Oh yes, if they hadn't been such a terrible family, Julian would have stayed alive wouldn't he?
She laughed.
If this wasn't her fault then…
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT." Rowena lunged for them.