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On his way to Winterhold, Jon used his magical steed, Sleipnir of Greed, to ride from Eastmarch’s frigid shores to the lone island where the old scholar, Septimus Signus, used to set up camp around a sunken ancient Dwemer lockbox.

It was not too long ago when Jon discovered the relationship between Septimus and Nurina as divorcees. While it was shocking, Jon convinced Nurina that Septimus’ life will be in danger so long he pursues this dumb Dwemer lockbox which he thought to have the Heart of Lorkhan contained within.

In the game, this leads to the death of the old man at the hands of… or rather, on the tentacles of Hermaeus Mora himself. An act which is not strange for the Daedric Prince of Secrets and Forbidden Knowledge.

Previously, Jon encountered a form of Hermaeus Mora in Septimus’ solitary cave, which appeared as a wretched abyss, and it requested Jon to take Septimus’ role in the project of unlocking the Dwemer Lockbox. Despite Jon’s insisting that he is no servant of Hermaeus Mora, the latter didn’t really care about it and tossed the role on Jon anyway.

While many Daedric Princes such as Azura, Namira, and Molag Bal require worship and dedication, Hermaeus Mora was more of an urge rather than dedication. So long as one is driven to pursue knowledge and uncover secrets, Hermaeus Mora would always be there leaching on their minds and driving them to the darker sides of knowledge more often than not. It is a fact that can’t be denied since every discovered thing so far was always thought to be weaponized or turned against something.

Either way, Jon and Nurina managed to relocate Septimus Signus to a different location after a lot of work. The stubborn old fool was so adamant about the Dwemer Lockbox that he was almost a skin sack of bones. Still, Nurina put in his mind another idea about the Heart of Lorkhan and sent him on a false trail in the research of the Eye of Magnus which occupied his focus even after the incident of the College and the Eye.

As for tonight, Jon has gathered all the Elven bloods required to recreate a sample of Dwemer blood and used the Elder Scroll of the Dragon to decipher the lock combination of the Dwemer Lockbox. While it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be and it seemed that Septimus was a vital part of the equation, Jon used time and subtlety to put the research of Septimus together and unlock the Dwemer Lockbox.

Per his prior knowledge, there was no Heart of Lorkhan in the Dwemer Lockbox. Instead, it was a book locked inside with a dangerous magical aura surrounding it.

That was none other than the Oghma Infinium.

Also known as the Tome of Power, the Librum of Knowledge, and the Book that Knows, the Oghma Infinium is an ancient tome of knowledge and an artifact of great power. It was written by Xarxes, the scribe of Auri-El, who had been granted the knowledge within by Hermaeus Mora. The name of the tome comes from Oghma, the wife of Xarxes, whom he created from his favorite moments in history. The knowledge within the tome grants the reader access to the artifact’s energy, which can be manipulated to achieve near demi-god abilities and the Paths of Steel, Shadow, and Spirit (Might, Shadow, and Magic) are the three main sections of the tome.

When Hermaeus Mora asked about Septimus, Jon revealed that he drove the old man far in order to hoard the reward within the Dwemer Lockbox for himself. While not completely a lie, the answer seemed to have satisfied the Daedric Prince who had no intentions of letting Septimus gain the Oghma Infinium from the start.

***

With his face flattened with the ground and the bones of his body shattered to a thousand pieces, the Houndmaster was instantly dragged away from Jon by a magical force that landed him right next to the Knight-like vampire. The Bloodscreamer, who just witnessed this whole thing, immediately retreated as far as she thought to be a safe distance from Jon.

“Darling dear, can we just focus on those vampire things and then continue where we left off?” Alina asked Jon.

“No way, honey. You think I can focus on anything with you around?” Jon laughed off with a playful tone.

But this pink atmosphere was not bound to stay since there were some sour visitors.

“Enough with your crap!” The Knight-like vampire shouted at Jon, “If you are here to fight, I will be your demise, Mortal!”

“Chill, dude!” Jon almost freaked out by the vampire’s aggressive attitude, “Calm your tits.”

“NO!” The vampire knight replied, “Rile up your bits.”

Almost everyone furrowed their brows for a second, vampires and mortals alike. Jon also tried to understand what this vampire was about.

“It’s not every day you meet such an interesting fellow.” Jon laughed lightly.

“It’s not every night you meet such a dull foe!” The Vampire knight replied.

“Uh-huh!” Jon was still trying to figure out that vampire in front of him.

“He has a way of twisting words.” Alina commented.

“You have a way of uttering surds!” The Vampire replied aggressively.

“What the?!” Alina frowned.

“He means you’re speaking incomprehensible nonsense.” Jon said.

Alina looked at Jon with anger.

“He said it.” Jon pointed at the vampire.

“I’ll slap Oblivion out of that bitch!” Alina pointed at the vampire.

“I’ll smite Aetherius into that witch!” The vampire replied.

“Now this is getting tiring.” Jon shook his head.

“No, this is getting firing!” The vampire shouted.

“You know what, I actually like where this is going.” Jon turned to the vampire.

“I don’t know and I despise when that is staying!” The vampire opposed every word Jon said.

“Hah!” Jon laughed, “And I thought I had daddy issues.”

“Issues are for losers! I prey on daddies.” The Vampire shouted.

“Oh!” Jon covered his mouth, “You fine, man?”

“Fine starts with an F, F stands for Fuck, Fuck you!” The Vampire replied.

“Alright. Let’s start from the beginning.” Jon said.

“Never! Let’s end it from the finale.” The vampire replied.

“Okay.” Jon shrugged his shoulders, “Good evening.”

“Bad morning!” The vampire shouted.

“It seems you won’t rest easy.” Jon said while glaring.

“It appears you will DIE HARD!” The vampire shouted.

“Amazing!” Jon was actually admiring the vampire.

“Hey, don’t feed into his fantasies.” I Alina poked Jon.

“Fantasies are for losers! Food too! I only drink blood and feast on the pain of reality.” The vampire said.

“He’s so hardcore!” Jon said before turning to Alina, “Honey, can I keep him?”

“Are you for real now?” Alina sighed.

“What? Look at him. He looks harmless.” Jon pointed.

“Harmless?!” Alina looked at Jon with bafflement.

“Look, I’ll go grab him.” Jon said.

It seemed that he finally decided to stop fooling around and do some beating. As three vampire commanders represented a lot of challenges for the defenders, Jon was like the final boss of a video game who just decided to hop in front of all the small mobs.

“He’s dangerous!” The Bloodscreamer warned the other vampires, especially the Knight-like vampire and the Houndmaster who was halfway recovering his wounds.

“Danger is a waste of time!” The Knight-like vampire shouted and stepped forward.

“Wait! He’s faster than my natural reactions. He is no easy prey.” The Houndmaster said as he was kneeling and fixing back his broken shoulder.

“I prey on darkness for breakfast and your natural reactions suck!”

The Knight-like vampire put his hand on his armor’s waist belt and suddenly undone it. That belt, which was all made of segmented metals, suddenly turned into a sword with the same segmented pattern and had the face of a gargoyle on its crossguard. Each segment of the blade was pointy from the side and gave the image of a sword-like spine. On top of that, a large dark cloak appeared on the knight’s back and enveloped him in a cover of darkness, which seemed like an advanced form of Shadow Magic.

Jon analyzed the cloak to be a ward-like spell that can negate magic from high levels even and the sword had anti-magic prosperities. It seemed like the Knight Vampire was a Mage Slayer, someone that may have been specifically prepared to deal with him.

“Nice! You seem like a challenge!” Jon said while cracking his knuckles.

“TOGETHER!”

But just as the Vampire and Jon were about to clash, the beams of magic struck Jon where he stood. The Bloodscreamer and the Hound master seemed to have decided to start attacking with spells from the backlines.

“Cowards!”

But just as their powerful magic attacks bypassed the knight-like vampire, he waved his black cloak in rage and dispelled the two beams cast by his two comrades.

“No! Why?” The Houndmaster asked.

“It was our chance!” The Bloodscreamer cried.

“Your cowardness reeks to the end of Oblivion. Only I shall feast on him with my blade.” The vampire replied and looked ahead in Jon’s direction.

A cloud of dust may have been caused by the two powerful beams of Magicka but as that cloud settled, Jon appeared standing where he was with his two palms ahead of him as he seemed to have tanked the two powerful spells barehanded.

“Now that’s dirty.” Jon said.

And with a strong repulsive Magicka, Jon returned to two attacks with the same power and aggressiveness toward the two vampires.

He only needed to blast the two from where they stood before he suddenly rushed to the Knight-like Vampire and delivered a punch to his helmet.

*THUD*

A loud collision sound was heard as Jon’s fist met the Vampire’s helm. Yet despite Jon’s physical power…

“Oh?!” Jon exclaimed in surprise.

… the Vampire wasn’t even shaken.

“Is that all you got?” He asked with his eyes flashing red behind the visor of his helm.

“Boy! You’re so cool!”

“My turn!”

The Vampire shouted and raised his sword to swing it sideways. As his arms swung and crossed his sight, the Vampire ended his slash with nothing interrupting him.

As soon as he saw what was ahead of him, the Vampire retreated his swords and laughed proudly.

“Hahaha! Eat that, Mortal! You disintegrated from just a single slash.” He said.

“Yeah, man. That slash was crazy strong.” Jon agreed.

“I told you, you’ll die hard! Hahaha!” The vampire replied.

“Yes, yes. Very hard.” Jon leaned on the Vampire’s shoulder.

“…”

“…”

The two turned to each other and silence predominated.

“Something wrong?” Jon asked.

“Your ghost… too realistic.” The vampire commented.

“Really?” Jon frowned, “Should I pinch your metal cheeks?”

“Eh… go ahead.” The vampire said.

Jon tried to pinch the helmet but it was too smooth to pinch.

“That won’t do. How about a little nudge?”

“Alright.”

Jon raised his hand and smiled just barely.

“Incoming!” Jon gave a heads-up before letting his punch loose.

The vampire thought he could take it this time but just as he felt the pressure coming from the attack, he instinctively put his sword up to defend himself.

The fist almost clashed with the sword but the fist stopped just one inch before it hit.

“Thunder Cookie!”

From an inch distance, Jon launched his Thunder Cookie against the blade of the vampire knight and it was nothing less than a blast.

The vampire couldn’t even stand his ground and with two straight lines in the dirt beneath him, the vampire was sent back almost 30 meters. (100 ft in American)

The Thunder Cookie was a mighty attack as always and Jon alone dealt all that damage by himself against the three Vampire commanders.

“I still want to keep you but tell the guy in the back to come ahead for his turn.” Jon said with a serious face.

The state of the three vampires was, without a doubt, miserable and if their master didn’t show up…

“I’ll kill them all.” Jon shouted and with his staff, he cast a Sun element to the sky.

The spell flew upward like a bolt of lightning till it reached beyond the clouds then…

“Fiat Lux!” (Let there be Light)

The sky started to brighten up and like fireworks, the rays of the holy element started to shine on the land.

The Light of Aetherius, a Master-level Restoration spell that covers the sky with light and draws ultraviolet rays from the upper atmosphere. As dangerous as it can be, Jon fashioned his spell to cause no harm to the living.

As for the vampires…

“HELP!”

“AAAAAH!”

“MOMMY!”

It wasn’t just burning damage the vampires were subjected to. Seeing how they burnt, it was almost like the flash paper that the magicians use for their tricks.

In an instant, two-thirds of the remaining Vampire Horde was annihilated. And just for action, a reaction was a must.

“Night Dome!”

And here he was, the leader of the Vampire Horde, an Elder Vampire from ages gone that hasn’t even made an appearance in the game.

He looked like an elderly human with no hair on his head save for two thick and long white eyebrows. His skin was as gray as Dark Elves and his stature was close to a Breton. Moreover, he didn’t move by walking around, he simply floated effortlessly and didn’t even show any expression on his face.

Jon looked deeply into his eyes and noticed that they were just empty pupils with no iris within. A strange thing to note since the commander’s eyes were glowing.

The Night Dome spell, while unknown to Jon, seemed to have done the opposite effect of “The Light of Aetherius” and even helped the remaining injured vampires, especially the three vampire commanders, to recover.

“So?” Jon asked, “4 on 1 this time?”

“Whatever it takes to put you down.” The Vampire Leader replied.

“That Bastard Harkon Volkihar sent you?” Jon asked.

“That Bastard Harkon Volkihar only paid us for this.” The Vampire Leader replied.

“A mercenary? Interested in switching sides?” Jon asked.

“You pay us with favor for Lord Molag Bal?” The Vampire Leader asked.

“Nope! Fucking Molag!” Jon spat on the ground.

“Then 4 on 1 it is.” The Vampire Leader opened his hand and a black sword manifested in his hand while the three vampire commanders started to spread around Jon.

“Hold right there.”

But just as the 4-on-1 was about to commence, someone spoke up from the city’s direction.

“Wulf.” Jon turned to the owner of the voice as the large-bodied armored Wulfur joined Jon’s side.

“Jon.” Wulfur nodded to Jon.

“Don’t forget I was here first.” Alina walked to the scene and joined Jon’s other side.

“Nice fight, sister. You held up well.” Wulfur spoke.

“Thanks, brother.” She replied.

“You guys are killing shit without me! Tsk tsk tsk, you guys are sooooo ruuuude!” Jullanar joined the other three while sliding from an Atronach Horse.

“You’re late, Psycho.” Alina said.

“It’s Second Wife now!” Jullanar replied, “Any ideas for a honeymoon, hubby?”

“Vampireslaghterton!” Jon replied.

“Nice, sounds romantic!” She jumped cheerfully.

“I’m Jon Dare, Grand Thanes of Skyrim.” Jon spoke to the Vampire Leader then pointed to the three behind him, “This my sworn brother, Wulfur the Forgemaster. This is my Warrior Wife, Alina the Crimson Moon. And that’s my Hunter Wife, Jullanar the Psycho.”

“Call me the Nightmarshall, Elder of the Night Legion from Coldharbour.” The Vampire Leader replied.

Unlike how Jon introduced his people, the vampires introduced themselves.

“The Houndmaster of the Night Legion.” The Houndmaster spoke first with the last of his broken bones returning back in place.

“The Bloodscreamer of the Night Legion.” The Bloodscreamer spoke while healing the burns on her armor.

As the first two finished introducing themselves, it was the Knight-like vampire’s turn.

“And you?” Jon asked.

“The Night Legion’s mightiest blade!” The vampire spun his sword in a spiral while hiding the damage dealt to his plate by Jon…

“I’m the EDGELORD.”

“Pffft!” And Jon fell face to the ground.

[A/n: Kudos to AOK youtube channel and a shoutout to their series Edgelord which inspired the Edgelord character in this chapter.]

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