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Chapter 205: 203: Endurance, Heartache, Love is a Matter of Two People

Yuan Mengbai turned over and lay flat, resting his head on one arm and lightly rubbing the gauze on his head with the other: “Some people say I am spineless and have lost the face of a man. Actually, I am just afraid, afraid that she will never belong to me and that one day, she will leave me. Because every time we make love, what she calls out is always the name of another man.”

Liu Sisi looked back at him.

She turned back and chuckled lightly: “Since you chose to endure it for so many years, why speak of it now? Isn’t it better to make it a secret forever?”

“Because I feel that you are on the same old path I have walked, so I want to tell you all these thoughts.”

After a moment of silence, Liu Sisi sighed softly: “From ancient times, it has been difficult for an honest official to meddle in domestic affairs. What use is it for you to tell me? Only you can save yourself.”

Deep down, she despised this kind of man, acting out a tragic appearance of deep love, making himself unhappy and dragging others down into the abyss as well.

“But I can’t reconcile! I can’t! I can’t!”

Yuan Mengbai roared in anger!

“I love her so much, why won’t she give me a single glance? Why does she still pursue something she can never have? What I want is not much, really not much! I just hope, I hope there is a place for me in her eyes…”

His voice grew fainter and at last, he could no longer speak through his tears.

Liu Sisi didn’t comfort him but merely leaned quietly against the pillar, gazing up at the starry sky.

As she listened to his crying, from barely audible to uncontrollable sobs to wailing and then gradually diminishing until it finally vanished.

She sighed then!

Such a grown man being forced to such an extent, Di Ruoning really had some skills!

“Do you really love her and want to give her the best of everything? Then why do you still complain?”

Yuan Mengbai didn’t speak for a while, and just when Liu Sisi thought he had fallen asleep, his murmuring voice rose again.

“Because… I’m tired… my heart is tired… really tired…”

Liu Sisi remained silent.

Love is a matter for two people. It has never been the case that only one’s devotion can make the most beautiful flowers bloom.

And what about her and Di Yelei?

Whether it is habit or love, she has no answer in her heart.

Until the sky began to turn white, a thick layer of mist rose from the bottom of the valley, and covered the mountain top.

Dew had wet their clothes, and the early morning mountain breeze brushed Liu Sisi awake. Only then did she realize that they had spent the whole night sitting outside.

The sound of morning prayers and the monk’s wooden knockers reached her ears, making her feel unusually peaceful.

“Brother-in-law, brother-in-law! Wake up, it’s morning.”

The dew had dampened her clothes, shrouding her hair in a veil of mist, and droplets slid down her loose curls.

Yuan Mengbai opened his eyes groggily, still confused for a moment, and without waiting for him, Liu Sisi headed straight to the canteen to fetch two portions of food and returned to the wooden house.

The wooden house was as she had left it, with Di Yelei not returning the whole night.

Picking up the wooden basin, she went to wash her face at the stream by the waterfall, and as expected, she saw scattered early risers heading up the mountain. As they passed by her, they all smiled and nodded in greeting.

After finishing her vegetarian meal, Liu Sisi was caught in a dilemma.

She promised YingEr yesterday that she would definitely be back today. However, Di Yelei still hasn’t returned, should she stay or should she leave?

It wasn’t until noon that Di Yelei, with bloodshot eyes, finally showed up.

“You’re back? Are there people taking care of Little Sister over there?”

“Yes, that old lady Ms. Ma is back. Don’t make noise, Sisi, let me sleep for a while…”

After Di Yelei managed to finish speaking, he collapsed back onto the wooden bed, exhausted, and fell fast asleep.

Feeling more tired than after several days and nights of hunting, he almost fell asleep once he hit the bed.

Ms. Ma returned, but where has Ms. Ma been before?

Liu Sisi looked up at the sky, realizing she was going to break her promise after all.

While Di Yelei was taking a nap, she went to the Zen temple again, listening to the grandmaster’s lectures on Buddhism and the sincere prayers of the congregation, and then returned to the Black Pond under the waterfall, playing leisurely by herself.

She even imitated the people around her by dipping her hands into the water, enjoying the refreshing chilliness.

At the bottom of the pond, a little crab silently crawled out from under a broken stone. Liu Sisi quickly scooped it up in her hand.

Frightened, the crab quickly raised its small pincers. However, no matter how hard it tried, it couldn’t pinch Liu Sisi’s hand, waving its eight crab legs in vain.

What a pity! The little crab was too small.

Liu Sisi loosened her grip, and the little crab fell back to the bottom of the pond, quickly hiding under a small stone and disappeared from sight.

After washing her hands, she got up and followed the stone steps to the nearby pavilion.

Unintentionally turning her head, she saw Yuan Mengbai again.

At that moment, he was sitting at the edge of the pavilion, the cloth on his head stained red with fresh blood, looking quite pale. A basin of blooming autumn chrysanthemums concealed more than half of his figure and their gazes met in the air.

Liu Sisi gave a slight nod and passed by him.

“Why don’t you ask me who that man was that Ruo Ning was shouting for?”

He suddenly spoke.

Liu Sisi’s footsteps hesitated for a moment, and she lightly laughed. “Is that answer important?”

“Of course it’s important because I want to tell you,” insisted Yuan Mengbai.

“No need,” she shook her head.

Having said that, she didn’t linger and continued on to the other side of the pavilion.

In fact, the answer was already in her heart, but whether she would say it out loud or not were two different matters.

Yuan Mengbai watched her figure disappear behind the stone pillar, and with one hand, he grabbed the autumn chrysanthemums beside him, crushing the blossoms that were once blooming just a moment ago.

Fierce anger appeared on his face, and he angrily smashed the broken branches in his hand into the Black Pond. “Di Yelei! I’m not done with you!…”

Liu Sisi revisited old places, following the stream that flowed from the Black Pond, passing through pavilion corridors and small bridges over flowing water. Whenever she encountered beautiful scenery, she paused and rested, observing the various states of life.

An old gentleman leading his grandson for a leisurely stroll, students discussing poetry and literature in groups, a few whispering and hiding young ladies in the springtime of their lives, a poverty-stricken uncle with a sad and helpless face…

This was the first time she had completely relaxed since arriving in this era. Consequently, her mood seemed to have improved as well.

In the end, she stopped behind an old man who was splashing ink and wielding a writing brush.