秘密教学第65话子豪的愿望是

Chapter 28

28====================

To live in this world.

At the same moment when Judah heard the whisper, the world turned gray. The gray flowed from some unknown space, like rain, and drained all color from the world.

The candles that flickered brightly; the moonlight that shone through the stained-glass window; the light of Gabriel: All was swallowed up in the grayness.

Time itself stopped: The candle flames froze mid-flicker, and the flash of light that was flying to Judah’s heart paused in mid-air.

It felt as if Judah was watching an old monochrome film in a movie theater. He took in this new unknown situation with his eyes wide open. However, even if time had stopped, the supernatural occurrences in Judah’s body had not gone away. He was still breathing, but his body felt immobile, and his consciousness was still on the cusp of fading away. In that haze of his mind, Judah saw a stranger approach him.

Who is it?

Judah lost consciousness as his sight had been consumed by darkness.

The man reached out his palm to block the light directed at Judah’s heart. At the same instant, time began flowing again, and the world regained its color. The light tickled the man’s palm, and as he retrieved his outstretched hand, he saw that the light was still shining upon it.

Then the bright light lost its radiance as it started to fade away.

The man brushed over his palm with his other hand, as if shaking off dust, then looked at Gabriel with a slight smirk. The man then began laughing, and his laughter was mighty.

“Gabriel, in vain are you trying to meddle in my long-established plans. Even if it was unintended, you must now be afraid. Should I say that you had no luck?” the man said in a friendly tone as he looked at Gabriel.

She stared at him as if she couldn’t believe that he was there. Her lips were trembling, and her blue eyes shook, her feelings bared. The man who had saved Judah’s life giggled as if it was all great fun.

“You? The First Lord, Xian, appears here?” Gabriel said in a tight voice.

Xian stopped laughing as his expression turned cold. His eyes now squirmed as he looked at Gabriel.

“You know that I have never permitted you to utter my name.”

“Yes!” Gabriel blurted out. She didn’t unleash any magical power, but her expression did change. She held onto her power, generating it within herself, and her reaction was not at all subtle.

Gabriel reacted so because it was impossible to predict what action Xian would take.

No matter how powerful she was as a celestial Queen, on her own, she was no match for Xian.

In order to fight him properly, all three Holy Monarchs must combine their powers, and all the apostles must support them from behind. Even then, it would only be enough to resist, not to overcome, him.

Of course, Gabriel could not so easily resist now, so her death was near.

Xian laughed as if he found Gabriel’s reaction pleasing. As if but a shifting mask, Xian’s expression changed rapidly.

“Haha! It’s not like you, sitting on your celestial throne all day, is it? Thanks to seeing you, I am happy. So why are you so afraid of me? Still, I am a Lord, and you are a Holy Monarch.”

“Yes! I don’t know why the Creator gave you such great might. You are a wicked being. I resent you.”

“Resentment? Did I hear you wrong?”

Xian tilted his head. The tone of Gabriel’s voice was indeed hate-filled as it pierced his ears, and she even blamed the Creator.

“Do you jest with me, or not? This is amazing.”

“Why would you think it’s a joke? Is there any reason that I shouldn’t blame him? He doesn’t even care about this world anyway. It’s like he’s abandoned us.”

Xian’s face now hardened.

“I have heard that you have lost your fear. Do you think it makes sense to resent the Creator if you are a Holy Monarch? You dare judge him on the subject of creation? And you dare do it in front of me!?”

Inconceivable magic power flowed from Xian as he grabbed Gabriel.

“Hah! Isn’t this a good place to die, Gabriel?”

In that magnificent temple, with the moonlight flowing through stained glass. Candles and magic lamps brightened the interior of the huge, empty chapel.

That was the temple of Jopiel, which had a small flaw in the theme, but still, it wasn’t a bad place for a Queen to die.

“Is that so?” was all Gabriel said.

In Gabriel’s sad eyes, Xian could see a faint emotion of simultaneous joy and resignation. Xian tilted his head as he studied such contradictory emotions. Was it resignation? It might be, or it might be pleasure. Gabriel laughed as she banished Xian’s magic from her.

“Xian, you are mistaken. I thought I’d be afraid of death. I was once. Not now. I keep on going back. I’m all twisted in that way,” Gabriel said, chuckling in a self-deprecating manner.

Xian blinked. He wasn’t annoyed by Gabriel’s words, and they didn’t move him one way or another. Still, what she had said was important.

“You are twisted, and you want to go back,” Xian repeated her words, then glanced back at Judah, who was still unconscious and bound by the power of Gabriel. Xian saw nothing happening, so he gestured with his hand.

The magical power that flowed from him like an endless spring exploded out into the surrounding area. The magic was instantaneously converted into energy.

‘Cruugkgakgarugk!’

The world shook, as if by an earthquake, and reality turned gray once more.

It that unmoving and colorless world, time and space had become reigned in. This was the absolute power of Xian, a being who reigned over time itself.

Xian, Judah, and Gabriel were the only things in this gray world that had their color.

“!” Gabriel was amazed by the ominous magic. She leapt from under Xian’s feet, spread her six wings, and soared into the air of the monochrome world.

A golden and divine energy flowed from her body, tearing through Xian’s magic. Xian almost snored as he shredded through the gold-hued aura, as if it was a thin rag.

“It is unpleasant, but don’t be afraid. Come down, Gabriel. How dare you look down upon me from above!?”

When Gabriel met Xian’s shining eyes, she felt an irresistible pressure.

It was because of Xian’s tolerance that she had been able to shake off his magic a while ago. Xian now captured her body with his magical power and dragged it to the ground.

The regularly-spaced pews of the chapel splintered and collapsed under the shock of the impact. There was no sawdust, and not a single sound was heard from the breaking benches.

After she fell, Gabriel attempted to get up and attack Xian, but the golden light flowing from her body immediately faded into gray and disappeared.

The overwhelming difference in power was now well established.

It was Xian who possessed a power that far outclassed that of other Lords and Monarchs. Gabriel was resigned as she lowered her empty hand, which had reached toward Xian. She was unable to do anything and felt helpless. Still, she admired Xian’s power, and she was not afraid.

“Yes, I know. It’s enormous. Even after hundreds of thousands of years, I will always be stronger. I only gain might. I never weaken.”

Xian slowly strolled toward Gabriel, who kept a wary eye on him.

“No. There is no possibility that I will ever be weakened. Even if the hardest times come to pass endlessly, my might will never decrease. Even now, it increases, and I am so used to it that I don’t even feel it anymore.”

“So? Are you leaving me alive to have a nice chat? If you don’t want to hurt me, let me go. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m sorry for touching the boy.”

“…” Xian stared at Gabriel, musing upon her impertinence.

It was clear that the Queen didn’t want to talk with him, so he considered leaving. He knew he would have to cut off a wing or an arm first, though. Would she stay calm then?

However, Gabriel seemed to be expecting such a response. Xian gestured once more.

The broken remnants of the pews flowed back in time as they reassembled themselves. Xian approached Gabriel, who was standing before one of the benches.

“Sit down at once. Don’t test my patience needlessly.”

Xian did not consider Gabriel’s will in the matter. He dominated the surrounding space, so he forced her to sit on the pew as he pushed her down by the shoulder, taking a seat beside her. Gabriel frowned in displeasure.

“What do we need to talk about? I think this is a waste of time.”

“No, we need to talk. You said before that you go back.”

“It has nothing to do with you. You can’t understand,” Gabriel said, clearly not wanting to talk. Xian exhaled as he calmed himself, trying to control the urge to separate Gabriel’s limbs from her body. He knew that this would really be a test of his patience.

“You won’t care, Gabriel, even if I understand you. And does that matter? Does it truly matter? I don’t think so. Still, it seems like you and I are going through the same phenomenon.”

“What!? You lie!”

“No, it’s real. Why would you deny it? You angels can judge if someone is lying or being honest. I’m sure you’ve already confirmed my words with that brilliant ability of yours.”

Gabriel stayed silent.

“Regression: A phenomenon of going back to the past, with memories of the process. The problem is that even if we go back to the past, we cannot change the future. A certain force judges when the time has come for us to regress. We think our fate is twisted. Regardless, that power always brings us back to a certain point in time.”

“I didn’t know it at first, but when I repeated it twice, three times- I realized: I’ve experienced this before,” Gabriel said, nodding instinctively.

“And it didn’t take long to realize that it was a real experience. You might not have realized it at once, but I did. The moment I realized that it was a repetitive fate, I kept trying to twist it. It didn’t matter if I did or said something different, and I could move freely. But the moment we intervene in certain events, the moment we kill certain people, the moment we get rid of something — We regress. It seemed to be an alterable fate, but in fact, it’s impossible to twist at all.”

“So… What do you want to say?”

“How long have you lived through this repetition of time? Years? Decades? Centuries?”

“…Two-hundred years.”

Xian laughed, an insincere one at that. Did Gabriel already look like this after repeating so a few centuries?

“I’ve been repeating my life for nearly a thousand years. While being conscious of every single second.”

“…”

“It would be nice if we could go crazy. It would even be good if we could destroy ourselves. But the destiny set out by the Creator never lets us go. We cannot become insane, and we cannot commit suicide. The moment you end your life, you go back and repeat it all. Endlessly.”

Xian looked at Gabriel. The reason for the sorrow in her eyes was that she had repeated countless lives, like him. That was why he had seen both joy and resignation in her gaze. Perhaps this meeting had gone differently than she had expected, but she still looked so tired of it all.

“But this time it’s different. Our destinies will change, little by little. It will start heading in an unknown direction, and reality will become more different every time we regress to the past. And above all else, there will come an end to this eternal recurrence.”

Xian, even if he was a demon, gave Gabriel hope.

“I don’t understand. How do we do it? Wait… you say you have made plans earlier so- No way! Is it that the boy behind you can do it?”

“Yes. You understand well, even if you don’t know what you’re saying, and while being so impertinent. Gabriel, ah, I have closed my eyes to your rudeness several times now. I feel like I want to tear your limbs and wings from you and hide them like a relic in this temple. Do you know why I don’t do so?”

“…”

“Simple. It’s because you suffer the same phenomenon as me. I force myself to watch over you, for we are both frustrated by repetitive lives and a predestined fate. Behind me, though still a little boy, lies the key to breaking through the repetition. You will soon realize that he is a person of great power, and his destruction will be of no use to you.”

Xian stood up and looked down at Gabriel.

“No, there is nothing to fear since this moment has already changed.”

Xian uttered an eldritch word and disappeared on the spot as if he was never there. The gray world returned to normalcy, and time passed once more.

“Oh my God, I didn’t go back,” Gabriel muttered, becoming enlightened as to what Xian’s final words meant. Fate had been twisted so much, and yet she still existed, even after some time had passed. Gabriel’s eyes now trembled more in their sockets, even more than when she had gazed upon Xian. She shifted her gaze to Judah. As she watched him in his dazed state, she remained silent.

Judah’s eyes seemed worried about something.

“Judah Arche.”

In the recurring fate that Gabriel kept experiencing, Judah Arche was a desperate man.

He was a person with the opposite temperament to Kain Sabrak. He was cursed by bad luck and betrayals, yet all always remained a man of great faith who did not give up to the very end.

She was not sure what to say about it all, so Gabriel merely said, “Good.”

She knew it wouldn’t matter if she left immediately, but as Xian had, she decided to take a gamble.

A bright sphere of warmly glowing light arose from her hand, dancing to Judah and finally entering his body. As with Kain, it would provide him with protection.

“I’ll watch you, too,” Gabriel said, then spread her six wings wide and flew into the air. Despite her jarring confrontation with the Lord, she returned to the celestial plane, capturing the appearance of that majestic chapel in her mind.

“Please, Judah, do not turn my expectations into disappointment.”