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That was what Hawi had begged Rukiya to free her of, but how was the Greyson alpha supposed to do that, when each time she looked around, her love interest was fixing someone else?

Rukiya knew what Hawi was going through was unfair and she wanted to go and murder Jer herself so she could put an end to this, but then the woman resting on her shoulders had always had just one motto.

"Where suffering is owed, death is too good a mercy," Hawi always said.

However, right now, Rukiya wished she could ignore her mate\'s words and let everything take its course. She couldn\'t handle seeing Hawi in so much pain and being helpless at the same time.

Despite being one of the strongest wolves alive, Rukiya felt weak, given there was nothing she could do to take Hawi\'s pain or even make it go away. It was too much even for her, and she wasn\'t sure what would make sense.

"Awuor! Rukiya!" Mbali\'s voice bit through the quiet camp.

She had just come from Sicario and Malika already told her where Hawi was. Malika knew she was not in a position to help, but she was sure Mbali could do something about Hawi\'s situation.

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Maybe that was also why she let Mbali come over even though Rukiya had wanted to be alone with her mate. Some things were beyond what was easily comprehensible and Awuor Hawi was certainly at the top of that list.

"Jabali?" Hawi whispered defeatedly as she lifted her head from Rukiya\'s shoulders and looked around.

"Oh Hawi," Mbali said when she reached the duo and saw the state that Hawi was in.

"Are you okay? Well, it\'s a stupid question, but are you okay now? Are you hurt? Do we need to get you to Olyana? Why did Malika leave you in this state? Is Rukiya hurting?

Is that why you can\'t leave her side?"

Mbali\'s endless questions weren\'t surprising to Rukiya, save for the last one. She couldn\'t understand how a woman who had gone through hell and back would still be here because Ruiya was hurting.

But was she?

"What does that mean?" Rukiya asked while Mbali just stared at the tired and bloodied alpha. She wanted to say something, anything to make Hawi feel better, but she knew that nothing would make it better.

"Let me take him home, Hawi. Let us bury him while you both take care of each other," Mbali said, ignoring Rukiya who was still not understanding whatever was happening with these two.

"But—"

"If you won\'t do it for him, then do it for Rukiya then," Mbali said and once again, Rukiya looked at the woman confused. They were all here for Hawi, because of the cruelty she had experienced. So how the fuck had this been turned to focus on her?

"Hold on, woman. What the hell?" Rukiya asked, but Mbali wasn\'t even focusing on her. It was almost like she was invisible, something that should have offended Rukiya but her endless interactions with Hawi and her crazy friends had taught her otherwise.

"For Ruru? Why?" Hawi asked as she looked at her father\'s remains on her lap. She hadn\'t known what to do or even where to go with them, so she settled on coming to Rukiya\'s camp.

With the Greyson alpha, she felt safe. With her, she felt like she was home and with Rukiya, Hawi felt like every challenge was not that hard, and that she could conquer it all.

Rukiya gave her reason to keep going, she gave her the desire to keep the faith and fight for herself and what was right. Rukiya was her greatest motivation, other than her intense desire for vengeance… which also had Rukiya embedded in it somehow.

"You haven\'t seen the warriors around you both? Goodness," Mbali said, letting out a frustrated whine.

"Come on Jabali. If you\'re going to be here ruining our silent moments then at least tell us why," Rukiya said frustratedly, she didn\'t understand a thing about what Mbali was saying and it was eating her up.

"You two didn\'t find it suspicious that Malika left without nagging? She never leaves that easily, yet she did, and even sent me, when she knew Hawi probably would have wanted to be alone.

"For two of the most intelligent creatures in the realm, you both are thick-headed right now. Look around you, at how your warriors react, at how everyone is staring at the both of you," Mbali said.

Hawi stared at her blankly as if to tell Mbali to leave if she didn\'t have anything else to say.

She wasn\'t in the mood for a nagging Lycan really, especially when she was still processing the death of her father. It was ruining her from the inside and she hated it, but then what else could Hawi do, when she didn\'t want to take out Jer that easily?

"Take the body and leave," Hawi said coldly and Mbali just rolled her eyes at Hawi who was so done with her.

"Listen, Rukiya. You should go to Greyson and not leave f—"

"I said leave," Hawi warned and Mbali took a in dramatic deep breath as she looked at the alphas before her.

"Rukiya\'s heat is starting, dammit," Mbali said and Rukiya choked on air, while Hawi burst out into laughter, despite the pain she was feeling.

"Good joke. Now leave," Hawi said, her tone leaving no chance for Mbali to even say something else. She was in so much pain and this wasn\'t the time for Jabali to come up with reasons for shit that wasn\'t even possible.

"You\'re hurting, Hawi, I get that. But you\'re not dense enough not to feel the desire that keeps pulling. Your blood rage has some side effects, Hawi, one of them being the instant heat trigger for someone you fancy.

"Now if you don\'t want to be with her, that is yours to decide, but I\'m telling you right now, you will have an entire army of wolves lining up and ready to fight for a taste of Rukiya if you\'re not careful," Mbali said softly.

She knew this wasn\'t the time for them to be thinking about the alphas being horny, but life itself hadn\'t come with a manual. There were so many things happening out of place that they couldn\'t control and the sooner they accepted it, the sooner they would be fine.

"You\'re messing with me, right?" Hawi asked, the denial so obvious. She couldn\'t deal with this right now. She was not even ready to say goodbye to her father and now she was being told shit about some heat she wasn\'t interested in?

"I am sworn to never lie to you, woman. Why the fuck would I bring up your intimate shit when you\'re in mourning?" Mbali asked but Hawi was not ready for it.

"No way. That\'s bullshit," Hawi said as Rukiya gently got up. She could feel the changes in her body and knew Mbali was right. However, she could tell that Hawi wasn\'t ready for this, so she wasn\'t going to force her out there.

"I\'ll leave. The Greyson army will stay and give you the support you need, Hawi. I\'ll be home, if you need me," Rukiya said and Hawi huffed like this was some sick joke.

"You serious?" Hawi asked when she noticed the dejected face Rukiya was wearing, not to mention Mbali who was staring at the Greyson alpha pitifully. Then again, could she be blamed when she was bonded to an emotionally broken person?

"Maybe you can\'t smell her heat because of your current state, but it will only get worse, Hawi. Go with her, be with your chosen mate. Malika and I will clean up the mess here. Don\'t lose the only good thing you have left because of denial," Mbali said softly.

"I… I can\'t attend to her heat, Mbali. Not when I\'m breaking from the inside, I just can\'t," Hawi said defeatedly as she watched Rukiya go to Hudhayfah. She knew she would ask for a portal, but then what was Hawi to do?

She didn\'t want to be selfish, and she was being truthful with the Lycan warrior. She was not in the right mind to deal with her desires, much less those of another person. Hawi knew she wasn\'t ready, not for any affection yet.

"You don\'t mean that, Hawi," Mbali said before adding, "you, went after her. I know you\'re thinking it\'s insensitive to be in love when you just lost your entire family, but what about her, Hawi? Isn\'t she family? Is your love for her that weak?

"Is she just an aid for your vengeance? Because if that is so, then you don\'t need to go after her. However, if she means something to you more than the damned oath, then go Hawi. I have seen the both of you do the impossible together.

"Don\'t let your grief overshadow your love for her," Mbali said before taking whatever was left of the former Sicario alpha and walking away from a confused Hawi.

"Ruru, wait, baby," Hawi called out.

"You don\'t have to, Hawi. I understand, and I\'m not mad at you for this," Rukiya said earnestly, fueling the pain that was in Hawi\'s heart. She had fought tooth and nail for this woman over the years that she wouldn\'t fuck it up, not like this.

"I\'m sorry… Let me make it up to you, just the two of us, please?"

"Hawi—"

"I can\'t lose you."

"You won\'t, Hawi. You never will. If you need time to sort things out, you do that, I\'ll be waiting for you."

"But—"

"Hawi—" Rukiya began again, only for a fatigued Hawi to create a portal and drag Rukiya with her through it.

Maybe there was hope for them after all.