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Chapter 195 - Nothing Else Attached

I couldn't see her yet because I was still kissing her neck.

?Theodora,? I whispered, tightening my hold. ?Oh, Theodora...?

As a result, a shiver ran through her spine, and she reacted to my clench. Her back arched again as she moved her hips and accompanied me to that journey towards heaven.

Only at the end, I realised that it hadn't been so pleasurable to her.

A stain of blood appeared on the nightgown and bedsheets, and she snuggled up as soon as I rolled off. She turned her back to me, her shoulders shaking because of the emotions and all the movement.

I looked at her figure, and I felt the urge to apologise. I even moved my hand towards her. In the end, I changed my mind.

It would have been weird to say sorry. Theodora would have been ever more frightened if I did that.

I just let her lie in bed and dressed for the day. Before going out, I sat on her side of the bed.

She observed me with her wary expression, but her eyes didn't show any trace of annoyance. She wasn't accusing me of hurting her; she wasn't hating me.

In the end, I'd been just that: a mission she completed without delay.

?You can sleep some more,? I said, trying to reassure her. I caressed her hair, shifting a few locks from her forehead.

?I can't sleep too much,? she replied. ?There surely is something I'm supposed to do today.?

She had worked hard all her life; there wasn't any need to do it even the first day after marriage.

?There isn't,? I comforted her. There was no need to work for the enemy yet. She first had to settle in the Palace and accept that her life had changed.

I looked at her for a moment more, wondering if she was feeling cold, lying there. I covered her with the blanket and tucked it with care.

When I was sure she was warm, I pecked her lips and got up. Only after doing it, I remembered it was an intimate gesture that could have made her feel uncomfortable.

Just a glance at her closed eyes eased my worries. She was too tired to pay attention to details.

I walked out of the chamber and analysed the maids in front of it. They were ready to barge in and wake my wife up, help her clean and drag her around. It was too early for that.

She had just been assaulted by me, and that should have been enough of a shock for a day.

?You,? I said to the closest maid. ?You will help my wife with any need, but you're not allowed to touch her unless she asks you to. Also, do not leave her side and watch over her.?

The maid bent her head and accepted the orders in silence.

?Also, make sure she's always warm. My wife suffers from the cold, so you have to check she is well covered before going out. Am I clear??

All the maids nodded, and I looked at them with my usual cold face.

I walked away, already thinking about work. I had so much to finish before coming back, and I was surprisingly relieved to have an excuse to stay away for a few days. I wouldn't have stood a chance to resist Thea's appealing presence if I was nearby.

I had already done enough damage; I needed to give her time to heal and react to the new situation.

I also had to keep in mind to make her forget about this the next time I could hold her in my embrace. She bled because of me; the least I could do was make her shiver in pleasure as much as she had moaned for pain. And I would have killed my instinct until only feeling her real wishes.

I wouldn't have made the mistake of the first night. Whatever the price, I would have made her forget about it all.

The following days, though, I didn't see my wife at all. I didn't have the courage to meet her, so I kept myself busy.

Only on the seventh day, I heard enough reasons to reach Thea in her chambers.

After being bullied by some middle-tier noblewomen, she had retreated to her rooms and didn't come out for the whole afternoon.

I knocked at her door and saw how she was applying some cream on her face. She was wearing only her nightgown and nothing over, which made me wonder if she felt cold.

?Why are you doing this by yourself?? I asked when I noticed that there wasn't even a maid serving her.

She turned to me with an aloof face and answered that she didn't need a maid for every little thing.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw her firm expression, and I wanted to hug her again, to drag her in bed and kiss her until morning.

Too bad it wasn't the right time to do something like that.

?Why isn't there any maid assisting you?? I asked.

She replied with so many your grace that my lips twitched. I walked to the chimney to hide my annoyance from her. I didn't want to scare her with too brusque changes in my mood.

?Call me by name,? I offered, but she sighed as if I was asking something impossible.

Even after telling her, she didn't use my name. She continued to keep some distance between us, which made me realise that she hadn't accepted me yet.

When she asked me to visit her chamber once a week, I accepted too fast. I just said yes, but she continued to show me her motives and arguments.

I listened to her, even though she didn't need so much to convince me. I just wanted to stay next to her during the night, possibly to hug her before sleep.

I would have settled for that only, without anything else attached.