I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

“What?”

“Your guild leader has something to confirm.”

I immediately climbed the elevator wall. Sim Ah-ryeon gasped, looking at me like she was staring at a giant spider, but I paid her no mind.

Channeling aura into my hands, I sliced the ceiling like it was soft tofu. Sparks flew from my hands as if I was welding.

In no time, I had created a neat hole in the ceiling. This was the power of a skilled aura user.

“G-Guild leader, what are you…?”

“Shh. Keep quiet and wait.”

Upsy-daisy —I lifted my upper body through the opening. It felt like a scene from Mission Impossible.

“Hmm.”

The wind outside was biting.

The space beyond the elevator was pitch black. While the lack of lighting contributed to the darkness, it felt excessively gloomy even accounting for that.

More precisely, it felt “crude.”

The elevator car had ropes, but that was about it. I couldn\'t see the essential components like governor ropes or door drive units that should be there.

And for an elevator supposedly running in the "Tower of Sauron," the structure seemed flimsy. A high-rise building like this should have streamlined, aerodynamic curves in the elevator capsule.

‘Gotcha.’

The entity that created this anomaly wasn\'t a professional.

It was just a product of vague preconceptions and images from average Koreans who had a general idea of this hotel.

‘I avoided the worst.’

I smiled faintly.

This would make things easier.

Hup!

With a thump, I climbed back down through the ceiling.

Sim Ah-ryeon, who I\'d asked to hold the elevator door open, couldn’t resist her curiosity and had peeked outside.

“Guild leader. There are people here, and they’re all fine… My God, their clothes aren’t wrinkled at all, so neat… Ah! The carpet is all messed up because of our shoe prints…”

At that moment, the “beings” in the hotel lobby all turned their gaze toward her. Their pitch-black pupils stared at Sim Ah-ryeon.

“Eep!”

“Quiet.”

Before she could scream, I immediately covered Sim Ah-ryeon’s mouth. She squirmed and whimpered as I whispered quickly into her ear.

“Don\'t speak recklessly. Avoid eye contact. The staff and other guests are all anomalies.”

“Mmph?”

“To be precise, they’re parts of the anomaly. More like its terminals. The entire hotel is likely one single anomaly and void. If you draw too much attention, the ‘whole hotel’ will start watching you.”

“Mm! Mm-mm…?”

“Of course, if you were an Awakener who could wield aura as easily as breathing, you could smash them all to bits. But our goal is exploration before subjugation. We need to document how this void works in detail. It might help humanity. Got it?”

“...…”

Nodding slowly, Sim Ah-ryeon moved her chin up and down. Her palm felt a bit sweaty, but I tried to ignore it.

“Now, let me show you how a skilled Awakener explores the void. As long as these creatures are around, keep quiet and just follow my lead. Can you do that?”

Nod.

“Good.”

I released Sim Ah-ryeon’s mouth and walked with her toward the check-in counter.

Tap. The anomalies, or their terminals, moved their gaze precisely in sync with my steps.

If I were a regular person with little experience dealing with anomalies, this sight would be terrifying.

But who am I? The regressor who’d spent countless cycles tangled up with anomalies, resilient as the Baekdu Mountain and the East Sea.

I approached without blinking.

Creak—

The staff behind the counter parted their lips. Their mouths were as black as an abyss, and their tongues weren’t even visible beyond their teeth.

It mimicked a human voice.

-Welcome. Do you have a reservation at our hotel? If so…

“Good morning.”

The staff suddenly froze.

Unfazed, I continued fluently.

“I have a reservation at this hotel. I’m a travel YouTuber. Can I check in?”

-Ah, um?

The staff looked visibly confused, understandably so.

I had spoken in German.

Hotel staff at high-end establishments usually speak English and can respond in Japanese or Chinese. But German, French, Spanish, or Russian requires special preparation, and they can’t handle them on the spot.

Naturally, Korean anomalies had the same sensitivity toward foreigners as most Koreans. They became utterly weak.

-Ah, uh, sorry, sir. Can you speak English? Reservation? Reservation, please?

“Oh, come on. Relying only on English in today’s global era?”

-Sorry?

“I’m sorry. I can’t speak English. Deutschland. Germany. Okay?”

-Ah, Germany. What should we do? He seems German. Ah, apologies. Please wait a moment.

My flawless German pronunciation made the anomalies shrink back and panic.

Sim Ah-ryeon was watching me with wide eyes, like someone seeing a giant hamster perform a headstand.

It might have looked funny, but this “I don\'t speak Korean, and I don’t know English either” strategy worked well in the void. Especially in voids that imitated real buildings, like the Tower of Sauron.

The anomalies whispered to each other.

-Can’t we reach the person in charge?

-No answer. They’re not picking up.

-Why now, of all times…? We need to ask if he has a reservation, but we can’t communicate…

-Calm down, everyone. Just guide him to the lobby sofa. We can’t keep the guest standing there. Offer him some welcome tea, too.

If this were an actual hotel, they’d have acted swiftly.

But I guarantee it was the first time these anomalies had encountered a German guest.

A foreign liaison? There’s no way they’d have something like that. Calling anyone wouldn’t yield results.

-Excuse me, sir? Please? Can you come this way?

“Hmm? What was that?”

-Ah, uh, please have a seat on this sofa. Yes. The phone, we can’t get through… Yes, sorry.

The staff tried their best to get us to understand using every gesture they could think of. With a mildly displeased expression, I made it clear I didn’t intend to cause trouble and sat on the sofa.

“Oh my goodness.”

As soon as the staff moved away, Sim Ah-ryeon huddled close and whispered.

“Guild leader… What just happened?”

“This strategy is nearly foolproof when dealing with anomalies trying to imitate humans in Korea.”

Of course, it only worked well in Korea and shouldn\'t be used in the Netherlands. Too many people there spoke foreign languages.

“Y-You can speak foreign languages?”

“Of course. English, Chinese, Hindi, Spanish, Japanese, French, German, Italian—most major languages. My complete memory isn’t OP for nothing.”

“Wow… I thought you were just someone who liked old Three Kingdoms content, but now you seem different…”

“...…”

This brat. If not for me, she would have knocked on the glass doors before even getting on the elevator and would’ve gone straight to the afterlife. She was still a newbie to voids.

No matter how dangerous the dungeon, it’s manageable if you know how to handle it.

I pulled out a Polaroid camera from my travel backpack—a model that printed instant photos.

“Huh? Why a camera now?”

“Ah, relax. This is a valuable item. One of the treasures I got in Japan after helping some magical girls.”

“...?”

It was a Polaroid OneStep (Land Camera 1000), launched in 1977.

It should require an SX-70 Time-Zero film, but the camera itself was an anomaly, so thankfully, film wasn\'t needed.

Click.

I photographed the hotel lobby. The camera flashed brightly, and soon, a white film was ejected.

“Here, take it. And no screaming.”

“Huh? What…? Eek!”

As expected, the captured image of the lobby was starkly different from what we were seeing.

Dust-covered marble floors, shattered lights, and porcelain pieces scattered everywhere. Even corpses hung from nooses behind the counter.

“Hah, eek… Huff…”

Near the sofa where we sat, a corpse dressed as a soldier had its mouth agape and eyes wide open. Sim Ah-ryeon was practically hyperventilating.

“Fascinating, right? This camera is rare. It’s known as a ‘Spirit Camera’ and is quite a notable anomaly in Japan. I’d been eyeing it for a long time and only got it after taking down the Inunaki Tunnel. I don’t know why those magical girls were so stingy with it when they had two similar Nikon F-series cameras.”

“Guild leader, eek… Guild leadeeer…”

“Don’t be so scared. The fun comes from testing how well these idiots can imitate humans.”

“Nobody else in this world would find anomalies fun except you…”

As I teased Sim Ah-ryeon, the hotel staff brought us some welcome tea.

Afterward, a man who appeared to be the manager came over and used English and body language to communicate.

“I’m really sorry, sir. We have no way to assist you right now.”

“Hm.”

I raised my chin by 20 degrees, and the manager bowed by 20 degrees.

“If you could wait a little longer, we’ll figure something out…”

“Hmph.”

At this point, I pondered whether to subdue or hold off on subduing this anomaly. Most anomalies would have revealed their true nature by now.

But from how things were going, it seemed like these creatures were genuinely dedicated to the hotel business. In other words, as long as we kept up our “guest” act, they wouldn’t drop their “hotel” act.

Pass.

“That’s fine. Okay, okay. I’ll just look around and come back later.”

“Pardon?”

“Here, hold my backpack. This is my phone number. Okay?”

I took out my important items and handed my backpack to the staff. Realizing my intent, the staff smiled and said, “Ah, okay! Thank you so much!”

They kindly guided us to the elevator. Comfortably, we returned to the first floor.

Since seeing the spirit photos, Sim Ah-ryeon had been trembling non-stop.

“Uhm… Guild leader, is it okay for us to leave like this?”

“Probably.”

“B-But earlier, the door wouldn’t open?”

“This time, the hotel allowed us to leave. If I had said I was leaving for good, maybe they would have stopped us. But I implied I’d be back.”

“Oh, that’s why you left your backpack…”

“Right. When exploring voids, you must quickly grasp their nature and adapt. Even in dangerous voids, as long as you follow the rules, they usually won’t attack… Only about 50% of the time.”

“That’s still half!”

Which is why you should always be strong enough to smack them down if they attack. Tsk tsk.

When the elevator reached the first floor, the door opened. As a test, I took a quick photo of the lobby.

“Hmm.”

“What’s in it?”

“I’ll tell you in a bit.”

The photo showed bodies piled high like mountains.

Twenty partially-eaten corpses stood near the glass doors, and a hundred others clung to the glass, scratching it with their palms.

What looked like a pretty chandelier was actually a gruesome collection of hanging corpses.

“Let’s head out.”

“O-Okay…”

As expected, the glass doors opened naturally when I pushed them this time. A gust of fresh air rushed into my nose.

Sim Ah-ryeon plopped to the ground.

“It was so scary! So scary! Guild leader, please! Don’t drag me into this; it’s bad for my heart!”

“Here’s the first-floor photo. A souvenir.”

“A souvenir? What… AHHHHHH!”

Sim Ah-ryeon fainted.

I was satisfied. This is why it’s fun to hang out with her. Her reactions were always great.

Of course, the satisfaction didn’t last long after I read a silly post on SG Net the next day.

-[OldManGoryeo]: Dropped my footprint at ‘that tower’ in Gangnam, Seoul, lol.

-[OldManGoryeo]: Is this dungeon really that famous? I went, and it’s a joke. Those Awakeners always boast, but this crappy dungeon is what kills them?

(79th floor lobby photo)

(1st floor elevator photo)

-[OldManGoryeo]: I’ve got a spirit item, so I took some verification shots. Check if your parents’ faces are here, lol.

Naturally, these so-called verification shots were the instant photos I had given Sim Ah-ryeon.

The response was overwhelming.

-Anonymous: Where is this?

└LiteraryGirl: It’s obviously the Tower of Sauron.

└Anonymous: ?? This guy raided the Tower of Sauron alone and came back fine?

-[Samcheon] Cadet: What’s with this OldManGoryeo villain? Is this unhinged troll actually a reclusive master?

-[Baekhwa] SixthGrader: Hweeeeng. (>_<);;

-Anonymous: Wow, this guy is next-level, lol.

-[Satisfaction] CookingQueen: This is fascinating.

“Hm.”

I glanced over at Sim Ah-ryeon, fiddling with her phone in the guild’s lounge.

“Heh… hehe…”

She lay sprawled on the couch, looking incredibly happy.

Perhaps that’s what a true anomaly looks like.

Epilogue.

In the next cycle, after picking up Seo Gyu from Busan Station, I researched the “Tower of Sauron” online.

With civilization still just beginning to collapse, I easily found image files of hotel vouchers.

And using those files, I forged a reservation.

Why? The barcode was a mess, but there was no way the anomalies could verify it.

So, armed with this voucher (presidential suite, 145 m², meals included, priced at 8 million won per night), I revisited the “Tower of Sauron” alone.

The result?

“Yes, your reservation is confirmed, Mr. Undertaker. We’ll serve you with the utmost care.”

“Oh…”

Surprisingly, the reservation worked!

That night, I not only enjoyed dinner at the finest restaurant but also took a relaxing bath while admiring Seoul’s night view from the window.

Wherever I went, the staff smiled and treated me with the utmost kindness.

“Jackpot.”

The next morning, I took a picture of my breakfast to test.

Click.

I savored my seaweed soup while waiting for the film to develop. When the photo finally emerged, I looked down.

“Hmm…”

I won’t reveal what was captured in the photo here.

But if you’re planning a trip with someone, make sure they have a strong stomach. Very strong.

Ah.

And of course, I’m not bringing Sim Ah-ryeon.

Footnotes:

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