BXBX NOVEL Chapter 450 His only wish
While Zaki was dumbstruck, Hinari finally moved and she held Zaki’s face.
"Listen Zaki, my love, even if you tell me you hated me, I still wouldn’t leave you. I will stay beside you no matter what. I know that you are lying. I know why you’re doing this. So no matter what you say I will never leave. Never!"
Just as those words lefts Hinari’s mouth, Zaki’s eyes widened. He looked like he just heard a certain implausible news and he suddenly gripped her shoulders.
"You... you... you know? W-what do you know?" he stammered. The emotions he hid so well a moment ago were now overflowing like a dam that suddenly burst open.
At that moment, he looked so emotional that he gripped Hinari’s shoulders hard while she was biting her lip. She didn’t plan to reveal that she knew but she let it slip off her tongue.
Hinari felt the bitter feeling exuding from him but before she could begin to explain, Zaki suddenly let go of her and he dashed towards the door and left. He seemed that it finally sunk in that Hinari knew everything.
...
Sei, who was walking towards the living room after bringing little Shin to Davi, halted upon seeing Zaki dashing towards him.
Sei creased his forehead as he looked at him. When Zaki finally reached Sei, he suddenly held Sei’s arm and pulled him toward the courtyard. Zaki’s strength seemed to have finally returned so Sei just let himself be dragged him out.
As soon as they were out, Zaki grabbed Sei’s collar and he pushed him roughly against the wall. He was obviously so angry that he didn’t pull his strength. He had never once so angry with Sei like this before.
"Sei... you... you promised me so why did you tell her?!" he asked as he gritted his teeth hard. His grip on Sei’s collars tightened but Sei remained calmed and unfazed.
"I broke my promise because I want you to be happy."
"Happy?! Sei... are you kidding me?"
"Zaki, listen to me. Hinari decided to stay with you. She was really glad that she found out the truth. Did you even think about how she would feel if she found out about this when you were already gone?! She deserved to know your situation!"
"Then what do you want me to do?! Keep her beside me, marry her and then leave her in this world all alone?!" Zaki’s eyes began to turn red. Since Zaki realized his feelings towards Hinari, he did everything to suppress it. She was the woman he wanted in his life but he never wanted her to suffer. He decided that it was better for her to hurt now than to suffer with him for another five years. He never wanted to have her just to leave her all alone. He thought that he was fine suffering alone, as long as she was smiling. That was how he would be able to endure the next five years without her, knowing that she might be able to find happiness without him. This was his only wish.
Gripping Sei’s collar tightly as though he wanted to rip them, Zaki lowered his face.
"What will happen to her when I’m gone?! She will only get tortured day by day until the day I die and even after that. I don’t want her to go through something like that because of me." He uttered weakly and Sei truly understood where Zaki was coming from. Zaki had always been so selfless. He didn’t know how to care or love himself. He was always thinking about others that he was willing to suffer alone or even throw his life away when needed for the sake of the person he was trying to protect. Sei never ceased to tell him to look out for himself first but maybe his extreme selflessness was also a result of the experiment they did on him.
"Zaki, I understand how you feel but... if it’s Hinari who was dying and she told you to leave her alone, would you leave her?" Sei asked and Zaki froze in silence.