BXBX NOVEL Chapter 390: The Gods Are Crazy
Chapter 390: The Gods Are Crazy
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
While the four ascetics were still immersed in their unspeakable mental state of awe, Hao Ren was thrilled because of Raven 12345’s words: An annual bonus! Rewards! Fringe benefits!
Hao Ren felt cheated since the day he signed the contract. He had gone through a bunch of dangerous and inexplicable things, but the work benefits of the new unit were the one thing he was satisfied with. They were not bad. Although the unreliable Raven often made a mess of what she was supposed to send to him for a lot of reasons, have you ever seen any company on Earth giving you a car and ship within six months of working? On top of that, the ship was not an ordinary ship, but an actual spaceship.
So, Hao Ren was looking forward to his annual bonus.
Raven 12345 did not let him wait too long. She slashed the air and one by one, she moved a couple of things out from the dimensional crack. “According to our company’s contract, the annual bonuses are here…”
Hao Ren’s expression quickly shifted from anticipation to dullness with an “are you kidding me?” look.
“Fifty kilograms of rice, fifty kilograms of flour, ten litres of oil… Yes? Any problems?” Raven 12345 asked when she found that Hao Ren was still standing there. Hao Ren was unsure of what to say at that moment, so he asked, “…This… is the annual bonus?”
“Yes.” Raven 12345 nodded and said, “You should’ve already known when you signed the contract. The annual bonuses of heaven include rice, flour, and oil. Of course, this is limited to standard carbon-based biospheres. Some places receive sulphuric acid, gasoline, and silicon crystal plates…
Hao Ren looked at the pile of things and thought they were better to appear in the street or office than in heaven. But it seemed to have been written on the contract. He could only sigh and thought that Gods were all crazy. They gave you car and spacecraft as a small award but you just got two bags of rice as annual bonus…
But soon he knew that he had underestimated the powers of these psychos. Raven 12345 was still digging out and said, “… Then here are two boxes of snacks for you, half a bag of oil-tea camellia, a box of golden apples…
Hao Ren saw a small box filled with more than ten golden apples and the apples were covered in some kind of mysterious brilliance. He was thrilled and asked, “What did you just say?”
“Golden Apple,” Raven 12345 said, “The classic variety cultivated by the Goddess of Life. Looks like a legendary fruit on Earth, so it’s called the Golden Apple. Of course, this is not real gold, it’s edible.”
Hao Ren asked and his voice began to tremble, “What… What’s the result of eating it?”
Raven 12345 thought and said, “No special result on me, but it is said that if mortals eat it… It seems like it can at least eliminate all diseases and grow back broken limbs. Oh yes, it can extend the life expectancy for hundreds of years…
Hao Ren’s heart pounded. After confirming that Raven was not joking, his eyes were shining and asked, “It’s all mine?”
Raven nodded but Hao Ren was still puzzled and asked, “But the problem is… Putting such a box of treasure together with rice, flour, and oil. Don’t you think this package is weird?”
“Nothing weird. Annual bonus includes rice, flour, oil, snacks, and fruit. Rice, flour, and oil can keep for a long time but fruit can’t. So we change it to golden apples that can be stored for a long time. We’ve been doing it thousands of years ago.”
“Just for this reason? Because it has a long shelf life?” Hao Ren almost cried out.
“Yes.”
Gods were all crazy!
“There is one last thing,” said Raven 12345, taking out some red paper from the dimensional pocket, “Chinese New Year is just around the corner, so I give you this couplet–this is my own handwriting, paste it on the door. It will turn your house and two miles around your neighborhood into a holy sanctuary.”
Hao Ren accepted the couplet with a weird expression, unfold the papers and saw some scratchy words written on them. The first line is: I’ve been thinking for two months and I don’t know what to write; the second line is: I’ve been thinking for another three days; the horizontal scroll: As long as there’s a word on it…
The whole couplet looked so scratchy that Hao Ren suspected it was written with a paint brush. However, when Hao Ren was holding it, he could feel the warmth. The dim glow flowed around the handwriting and there was a kind of faint and sacred atmosphere surrounded them.
“Err… Can I not paste it on my door?” Hao Ren was struggling inside. He felt like he would get into this kind of situation every time he met her. “I’ll keep it as a treasure.”
Raven 12345 waved her hand and said forthrightly, “Come on, I’m very optimistic about you, this is a bonus for you, maybe I’ll give you another one next year.”
Hao Ren was about to cry. He really did not want to admit that he was worried about this thing affecting the appearance of the city…
After Hao Ren kept these ‘annual bonuses’, Raven 12345 talked to him about things happened in the Plane of Dreams. Hao Ren admitted frankly that he ended up using orbital bombing to kill the First Born (which he did not discuss in detail in the report): Strictly speaking, even if it was justifiable, it was against the rules. The only thing to be thankful for was that the end result looked good.
However, he did not expect that Raven 12345 just smiled and said, “Well, it seems that you already figured out with how things work…”
Hao Ren, “Huh?”
“Sometimes you have to deal with the problem in a simple and crude way,” Raven 12345 smiled and said, “Throw a bomb to solve all the problems. If you can’t do it, you don’t have enough guts–as long as you can get things done, it’s ok to blow things up.”
Hao Ren’s lip was twitching. “It’s not appropriate for you to say so,” he said.
Raven 12345 laughed and said, “You did a good job anyway. But remember, this is still risky. ‘Explosion’ can only be used when you don’t have any better option.”
Then she waved her hand and said, “Let’s talk about it later. Now you should have realized that the Plane of Dreams is bigger and wider than you think, right?”
Hao Ren nodded and said, “A sea of stars.”
“Yes, a sea of stars. I told you earlier that the Plane of Dreams is a real world like the Surface World. At that time, you should have thought that the universe and the starry sky in the Plane of Dreams was not a background picture. And then you’re going to investigate the situation of other planets in the Plane of Dreams?”
“Yes,” Hao Ren laughed and told her his next plan, “I decided to start with the siren’s origins. The news of ‘The Day of Return’ was released from them. I suspect that the real purpose of those sirens is not to allow other unusual creatures to return to the Holletta planet, but it’s they themselves want to use the power to go back to their home. This is what I just realized. If I could find sirens’ home, I would probably figure out what caused the big time-traveling 10000 years ago.”
Raven 12345 looked at Hao Ren with satisfaction and said, “Very good. Anyway, you’re responsible for this case now and let’s see what you can investigate. I’m also investigating something here. Although I have a general idea of the cause of the accident of the universe 10000 years ago, I’m unable to find out the details, perhaps your intelligence is a key…”
Just when Hao Ren was about to chat with her politely to see if he could cheat her in order to get some funds from her, they suddenly heard a loud shout of anger coming from outside. “Crazy woman! Get out! Where’s my sword?”
Raven 12345’s looked anxious when she heard this, turned around and ready to run away. Hao Ren shouted at her back, “Eh eh what happens…”
“I have to go now. My enemy is coming for me! Let’s meet again next time…” Raven 12345 said without turning her head
Before she finished talking, they saw a blue light flashed in front of them and the nervous Goddess had disappeared. Hao Ren and the four ascetics looked at each other in consternation, did not know what happen.
A moment later, the door of the round hall was suddenly kicked open violently, an unusually tall woman with long brown hair stormed in. The woman was surprised to see Hao Ren and the four ascetics, but then she sensed the lingering smell Raven 12345 left in the air, frowned and asked, “Where is that psycho?”
Hao Ren was not sure what was happening, but he knew that this lady dared to break in and say such words, she must be an acquaintance of Raven 12345. He did not want to offend her and answered, “I don’t know. She said her enemy is coming for her, and then she ran away.”
“Fxxk! Again…” The tall woman… Or the Goddess violently hit her fist. Suddenly, a voice came from the corridor, “Sir! There is a teleportation portal reaction in the arcane hall!”
The tall woman immediately rushed out in the blink of an eye. A moment later they heard the sound of explosions and fights in the distance. The four ascetics looked at Hao Ren in a bewildered way and asked, “This is…”
Hao Ren hurriedly lowered his head and dragged them out of there and said, “Don’t ask, maybe it’s the war of the Gods…”