Chapter 359: I Dont Like It
Ning Que had never beaten Sangsang since she turned four.
He had never won in the numerous fights with Sangsang since that day. For example, at this time, Sangsang had only used a sentence to resolve all the bitterness in Ning Que’s words and turned it into a bolt of lightning that struck him, making his body stiff and his heart resentful.
What has it to do with me? What has it to do with me? Why can’t I poke my nose into your business? Ning Que got angrier the more he thought about it. He shook in anger just like Mr. Wu next door. He rolled up his sleeves and searched the study in the Scholar’s Mansion agitatedly like a cat on a hot tin roof.
He wanted to find a wooden stick, and return to the beautiful life that he had led before Sangsang turned four. However, there wasn’t any wooden stick in the study, and their lives could never return to the one that had led before she turned four.
Even if he had really found a stick, he couldn’t really ask Sangsang to remove her pants and beat her buttocks viciously. After a moment, he returned to Sangsang helplessly. He lowered his head and said, "Come back with me."
Sangsang said in a low voice, "No."
Ning Que lifted his head and looked into her eyes and asked, "Why not?"
Sangsang replied softly, "Because I am not happy living there."
"Why are you unhappy?"
"No reason, I just am unhappy."
"It’s not that you have no reason. You have no brains!"
"What has it to do with you?"
Ning Que said furiously, "I am the young master and you are my handmaiden, of course it has something to do with me."
Sangsang lowered her head and said, "You haven’t allowed me to call you young master before we came to Chang’an."
Ning Que sighed softly and said sadly, "I have brought you up..."
Sangsang lifted her head and said seriously, "You haven’t raised me. I was in charge of doing the laundry and cooking as well as the household chores since I was eight. I have brought you up."
The emotional attack that Ning Que had planned for a while was interrupted coldly right from the start. He didn’t even have the chance to talk about how he had cleaned up after her as a child. It made him feel awful, as if he was choking on hot and sour sliced noodle soup.
He suddenly understood that Sangsang was not like the people in the City of Wei, and wasn’t like his Senior Brothers and Sisters from the Academy. She was the person who knew him best in the world. She would not be cheated by all the emotions that he faked, and his best moves were useless against her.
He said in annoyance, "I did earn those taels of silver, didn’t I?"
Sangsang furrowed her skinny brows and said, "But I thought of the way to earn those taels of silver. Had I not force you to sell sections after we came to Chang’an, we’d still be poor."
Ning Que wasn’t very clear-headed at the moment, and did not hear Sangsang referring to them as "we". If not, he would have felt much more confident. However, he did not hear that, and thus felt wronged and upset. He thought about the Horse Gang that he had killed by the Shubi lake in the Min Mountain resentfully, and how he had risked his life killing with Chao Xiaoshu. Even though he had done it to repay his kindness on behalf of Darkie, he had also wanted to earn more money for the family.
He knew very well why Sangsang had left home. It had nothing to do with her finding her biological parents, and had nothing to do with anything else. After a moment of silence, he continued to roll up his sleeves.
Sangsang kept her head low and looked at the tip of her shoes.
Mrs. Zeng was shocked when she saw that, she thought that he was about to hit her daughter, and was prepared to rush up to hit the fellow or be hit.
Zeng Jing pulled his wife back hurriedly.
He looked at Ning Que and Sangsang in the study, and felt that the relationship between the two was not like one of master and servant that he had previously thought. What was more amazing was, the two were obviously fighting, but it felt especially harmonious like a world that cannot be broken by anyone.
Indeed. Together, Ning Que and Sangsang were the world.
This was a world that had been born from great difficulty, however, cracks had finally formed in the old world, and it was about split or regroup. Changes were about to occur in the order of this world, but it was not known if it would be towards the light or the darkness. Perhaps there would be a large explosion and a new world would be formed.
Ning Que looked at Sangsang and said solemnly, "We have to make this clear. I will definitely marry no matter what, we can’t just live like how we have for the rest of our lives."
Sangsang frowned at him slightly, feeling as if there was something off with his words.
"Sorry, I said it wrong because I was too nervous." Ning Que hit the back of his head forcefully and said again, "We will spend our lives together, without a doubt."
Following that, he continued, "But I do have to get married, I know that you might find it hard to accept in a short time, and I understand how you feel right now..."
Sangsang suddenly asked, "You said that we will definitely spend the rest of our lives together?"
Ning Que answered with certainty, "It is necessary!"
Sangsang said, "And you have to get married."
Ning Que nodded.
Sangsang said, "You have to spend your life with someone else if you get married, how are you going to spend your life with me then?"
It was indeed a problem, but it wasn’t an issue for the thick-skinned Ning Que. He smiled and answered, "We can still spend our lives together even if I get married."
Sangsang turned to look at Mrs. Zeng. "Are there any sons of imperial court officials who are still unmarried?"
Mrs. Zeng was long shocked speechless by the two’s conversation. She had never seen such a master-servant relationship as a wife of an official in the imperial court. She had not managed to regain her wits when her daughter had suddenly asked the question, and she answered subconsciously, "There are still a few officials who are looking..."
Sangsang turned around to look at Ning Que and said, "Then I shall marry them."
Ning Que was stunned and annoyed, and then, he felt ashamed due to the annoyance. He berated, "How old are you? Why are you getting married?!"
Sangsang replied, "I heard that one could get married at 14 in the Great River Kingdom."
Ning Que felt himself getting smaller when he heard the Great River Kingdom being mentioned. His anger drained away, and he said tried to convince her warmly, "But we are in Chang’an City."
Sangsang said, "Even if we were in Chang’an, I will be 16 next year and can get married."
Ning Que was startled and he said furiously, "You are tanned and skinny, and have been a handmaiden for over a decade. Which son of an official would marry you?"
Sangsang fixed her gaze at him and said, "I am the daughter of a first-class Grand Secretary, and am a friend of the Princess. I am a disciple of the Great Divine Priest of Light, and Mr. Second of the Academy likes me. I have a few hundred thousand tales to my name. Why would anyone be unwilling to marry me?"
Ning Que shook in anger and said, "It’s fine if you didn’t mention about that money, but I am even angrier now that you’ve mentioned it. You actually split the notes. Do you really want to split this household?!"
Sangsang reminded him, "We are discussing my marriage."
Ning Que waved his hand and said forcefully, "You’re not allowed to get married!"
All were silent in the study of the Scholar’s Mansion when he said that. The Zengs’ expressions were complicated while Sangsang only looked at Ning Que quietly. Ning Que put down his hand slightly awkwardly.
...
...
Ning Que looked at her eyes and realized that Sangsang had grown up. She was no longer that child who blabbered nonsense beside him. There was no going back now that she had grown up. The child had become a girl, and then into a young lady, and would become a young woman. It was a process that cannot be undone. She had to start considering things that would happen when she grew up, no matter whether they brought her joy or grief.
Girls had to get married when they grew up.
Could he watch on helplessly when Sangsang marries someone else?
No matter whether she was the skinny little girl or the youthful young lady; or whether she had become naggy and bloated after marriage, or if she sat in a bamboo chair with silver hair.
He could not watch her marry someone else as long as she was Sangsang.
He would not allow her to marry, so why should she watch him marry someone else?
Ning Que lowered his head and felt at a loss. He was a little flustered, somewhat awkward, and seemed to have understood something.
He understood how Sangsang had felt when she left their home at dawn.
He understood his own feelings.
However, just understanding wasn’t sufficient.
Ning Que recalled the words he had heard last evening, and his body stiffened.
He bowed deeply and respectfully to the Zengs, and asked them to allow Sangsang and him to speak alone. The couple looked at each other, sighed and left the study.
"I cannot lie to you. I do like her."
Ning Que looked at Sangsang whose head was still lowered. He continued, "You do not have to ask me, and I know what you want to ask. I did also like it when I peaked at the older sisters bathing, and I also said that I liked Dewdrop and Luxue at the House of Red Sleeves. But... she is different. I really like her."
Sangsang looked down at her feet silently.
Ning Que continued, "And I’ve also asked you, and you said that she was good."
Sangsang lifted her head and said, "She is indeed very good."
Ning Que said, "But you do not like it."
Sangsang replied, "She is very good, but it doesn’t mean that I have to like it."
Ning Que asked, "Why do you not like it?"
Sangsang looked at him and said seriously, "I don’t like that you like someone else."
It was silent in the study for a long while.
Ning Que said in a low voice, "But I already told her that I liked her."
Like many times in the past, he would get suggestions and answers or even moral support from Sangsang in the face of really difficult decisions. However, he had forgotten that the problem involved Sangsang this time.
Sangsang’s little face remained emotionless. There was no anger or tears. She looked at him placidly and said, "I am hungry, and I want to go to bed. You’d better leave."
She was hungry, so she wanted to go to bed. There was no logic in her statement.
Ning Que looked at her and said, "I can’t sleep when you’re not home."
Sangsang did not say anything.
Ning Que said, "Who’s going to cook me noodles when I get hungry?"
Sangsang did not say anything.
Ning Que suddenly asked, "Shall I cook you noodles?"
Sangsang still did not say anything.
After a long silence, Ning Que said, "I shall go calm down a little. I will come to pick you up tomorrow."
After which, he turned and left the study.
Sangsang went to the door of the study and looked at Ning Que who was walking towards the flowerbeds. She said, "The eggs are in the rice vat in the kitchen. Use less oil when you fry it."