一层一层剥掉你的衣服

“People will probably think I got plastic surgery,” I said with a laugh. It’s true. As I lost all that weight, my face shrunk considerably...and it’s only expected to get even smaller. At this rate, I might not even have a head by the time I finish. Nonetheless, as soon as my weight range got into the 50’s, I feel really different. How do I put this…I’m starting to feel pretty.

“Your eyes are huge, too.”

“Yeah, but now the dust keeps getting into them so it’s kind of annoying.” My face changed into a slight grimace as I spoke. Sadly, that was also true. My eyes were so big that every time the wind blew, my eyes would get dry and watery.

“Still. You’re so lucky. But, Sian. Do you think Jinwoo will be able to recognize you?”

Jia snickered. When we’re by ourselves, we just call him Jinwoo. As long as we don’t get caught, it’s fine.

“He’s always making fun of me. I wonder how he’ll react when he sees the new me.”

Jinwoo Park. Of course, I am grateful to him. But as the head of the company, Jinwoo can be annoying. I can’t wait to enact my small revenge.

“But, Sian, is it true that you’re going to perform with a sword?” Jia asked as she linked arms with me. My arm is much skinnier now, allowing her to wrap her own all the way around.

“Yep.”

“When did you learn? I thought you were going to sing.”

“I learned a bit when I was a kid.”

“Are you really going to do it?”

“Yeah,” I replied with a firm nod. I’ve already prepared everything, I just have to do it the way I practiced. These days, people really do prefer something a bit more creative. They’re getting tired of seeing the same idols doing the same type of dance moves over and over again. If I do swordsmanship, it won’t just be good for me, it will also bring positive attention to the whole team. Nowadays, you really have to try and stand out as an individual to succeed.

“I’m really curious.”

“Give me 50 cents and I’ll show you.”

“You’re funny,” Jia said with a straight face. I apologized with the same expression.

Soon after, Manager Lee came and told us to get into the van. As soon as we were all buckled in, we made our way to the music set.

“Oh, guys.”

Manager Lee began as he drove. We turned to look at him.

“You guys know the rapper C-Night is going to come, right?”

As soon as we heard, we all nodded in acknowledgement. The mood instantly became darker. Why? I’ve heard a thing or two about this rapper. C-Night. She calls herself that because she likes both the city and nighttime. She considers himself an artist of the next generation and her verses can get pretty vindictive. Rappers are pretty much expected to be hardcore and intense, so this actually makes the public like her more. She’s also affiliated with YH Entertainment and is 27 years old. Yes, she. C-Night is a woman. Her major flaw is that she’s a total bitch and no one really likes her. But some do hang out with her, mainly because of their similar personalities. She’s pretty rude and informal to Jinwoo as well. And that’s C-Night in a nutshell.

“But don’t worry. She’s not there to judge you guys. She’s just there to add commentary.”

“Sigh...”

Everyone sighed with relief at those words. C-Night is one of those people who will stop at nothing to take down someone she doesn’t like. She once gave someone a really low score because she didn’t like them. So if it can be helped, people avoid selecting her as a judge.

“But still…she might say something to you guys, so just don’t let her get to you.”

Manager Lee was definitely worried. And looking around, I could see others were too.

“Today’s going to be a shitty day.”

“I really hate her.”

“One time, I passed her and touched her just slightly and she completely went off. Ugh.”

Everyone began to complain at once.

“Is she really that awful?” I asked Jumi who was sitting next to me.

“You don’t remember? She called you a pig one time and fat-shamed you.”

“Oh, really?”

Now that I think about it, I do remember. I cried for three nights because I was so hurt by that.

“She’s so rude and a complete psycho.”

“She must be hard to be around with.”

If even Jumi hated her, then she was definitely someone to avoid.

We continued talking until we arrived at the music studio.

***

When we arrived, the members from the other teams were already there getting their hair and makeup done. We were immediately taken by the stylists. There were a lot of cheerful reunions as it had been a week since we all last saw each other. Strangely, I began to get pulled into conversations as well. I don’t remember being this friendly with everyone in the past…

Suddenly, the manager came in to look for me.

“Hey, Sian.”

“Yes?”

“C-Night is looking for you.” Manager Lee looked incredibly nervous as he said that. I wondered why.

“She looks kind of angry. Did you do something to her?”

“How could I have done something if I haven’t seen her today? Is she outside?”

“Yeah,” Manager Lee said with a nod. I walked out of the room. There was a girl standing outside with straight, black hair, way too much makeup, and a chest as big as the amount of arrogance coming off of her. She glared at me the moment she saw me.

“Are you Sian?”

“Yes, I am,” I replied with a nod.

“What? You’re not even going to greet me properly?”

“Oh, sorry.”

This time, I greeted her with a proper bow. I wasn’t scared, but I didn’t feel like fighting with anyone today.

“Didn’t you learn anything when you were a trainee? God, no wonder you failed as an idol.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized with another bow. She really was a bitch.

“Here.”

C-Night held something up.

“This...?”

“It’s a prop sword. I got it from someone who was filming a historical fiction drama. I don’t know why Jinwoo sent me to do it. Fucking annoying.”

She thrusted it at me with an annoyed look on her face.

“Oh, a prop sword...”

I didn’t even realize these things existed. I only knew about real swords and wooden swords. This one seemed like it was made out of aluminum.

“Idiot. If you’re going to do swordsmanship, you need to use a prop sword. What were you thinking about, using a wooden stick? Are you stupid? I had to go on a stupid errand because of you.”

C-Night spat out the words at me, but I didn’t react. Someone once said that it was best to remain quiet when angry.

“But what kind of singer uses a sword? Have you even used one before? I bet you’re going to look completely stupid. Guess we’ll see later.”

With that, C-Night turned and swaggered away. I considered tackling her from behind and beating her until she begged for mercy, but I held myself back. Then I began to recite the Heart Sutra again.

‘Body is nothing more than emptiness, emptiness is nothing more than body.’

I took a deep breath, telling myself nothing good with come out of sudden movement.

***

I came back into the waiting room with my sword. The moment I did, everyone turned to stare at it.

“Let me see, Sian,” Yoo-young said, her face full of curiosity. I took the prop sword out of its hilt.

Ping!

It sounded pretty cool. And it did look very well-made.

“Whoa. That looks amazing.”

“It looks so real.”

“Can I touch it?”

Rhinzi held out her hand and touched it slightly. Since it was blunt, it didn’t hurt her at all. Of course, if I were to hit with it, it could be dangerous. But it couldn’t stab or cut anyone. Either way, Rhinzi seemed to enjoy it.

“Wow. That’s cool.”

“I’m more impressed by Sian’s body right now.”

Suddenly, Jia gave me a back hug and began to feel up my stomach. I really didn’t have much left, if I say so myself.

“You really did lose a lot of weight, Sian. How did you do it?”

Rhinzi’s face portrayed her utter confusion at my progress. Considering how much she probably dieted and exercised, it made sense. No doubt she was wondering why she didn’t get such exceptional results. But I could also tell she was happy for me as well.

“I just…you know…tried really hard,” I replied modestly.

“I like you this way. You’re really pretty.”

Rhinzi said as she put her arms around me. And that’s how I ended up with a hug sandwich. And you know what? It felt pretty nice.

But just then, Yoojin came into the waiting room. Yoojin, with her amazing, glamorous figure that turns heads. She walked in and opened her mouth to convey a message.

“Rehearsal will begin in thirty minutes. Are you guys ready?”

Everyone nodded in response. Of course, we were ready. We’ve been ready. Life helps those who help themselves. Once you do everything you can, the rest is up to the Heavens. I’m sure everyone was thinking that.

After exactly thirty minutes, we made our way to the rehearsal room. We only got two rehearsals each. Since there were so many people, this couldn’t be helped. I did some moves to practice spacing and sound check, but I held myself back. Just a little bit, like I was stretching. I didn’t want to show everyone just yet. Yet even though I only did a little bit, it was clear that they were all impressed.