BXBX NOVEL Chapter 351 Self Analysis
It had been a while since he had been there, but Jake returned to the neutral world, the first world where he and the others appeared after leaving the illusion. While his spaceship was parked outside the planet, Jake rested on the grove where he used to camp. In the meantime, the others were talking with the other guilds and their members about the future operation.
"Knowing you, I suspected that you would show more refusal about cooperating with others," Virgilius said. "You aren\'t someone difficult to understand."
"Usually, I would, but this isn\'t a problem that is mine alone," Jake explained. "I guess we all are bounds to our pasts, whether we like it or not. Besides, I didn\'t want to give the enemies the chance to use those guys against me. I am a piece of shit, but I don\'t want to see myself in a situation where I had to decide between my life and a kid\'s."
"You truly have a bad impression of yourself," Virigilius said.
"I died once after failing. It is only natural that I would know my flaws," Jake said. "Besides, the more you live, the more you start to remember only the bad stuff… we usually take the good things for granted, and the bad things like some consecutive struck of bad luck."
"My brain can\'t understand that way of thinking. It must be because I don\'t possess a proper body," Virgilius said.
"Don\'t be a drama queen, I asked what you wanted, and you wished for orders. You can only blame yourself for that now," Jake said.
"I wasn\'t complaining, and having another body would only make my job get harder," Virigilius said. "I can\'t say if I like it or not, but I am fond of my ability to process data and learn, so I do not wish for another body."
"Whatever you say, bro," Jake just shrugged.
"I see, so that is like a human is supposed to be," Virgilius said.
"Here you go again… what is it now?" Jake asked.
"When I met you a few weeks ago, you were totally different. You were more like me than the people you met on the last day," Virgilius said. "Now you look more like them. Sometimes your actions don\'t make any sense, but you still look more impressive than before."
"A man in the past once said that people have three personas. The first is what they think they are, the second is what they show to others, and the last is what the people think of him," Jake said. "It is only natural that I would show to others something else aside from my angry and cold natural behavior. Besides, it is not fun to be on edge all the time."
"I suppose that makes sense," Virgilius said. "You think of yourself as a piece of shit. You show to others that you are someone who doesn\'t care about many things and that you are extremely harsh, and others think that you are a pain in the ass to deal with since you are always trying to show a strong front."
"Something like that, yeah," Jake said and then chuckled. "I am glad that my essence didn\'t change much from back then."
"... They are back," Virgilius said.
"Ah… he really is still here," Lana said. "Knowing you, I thought that you were going by yourself again."
"I don\'t remember when I gave you the impression that my words carry no weight," Jake said. "Anyway, when are those dumbasses going to attack?"
"Tomorrow morning, as soon as Virgilius tell them the location," Louise replied. "About the battle plan…"
"Don\'t need to hear it. I won\'t follow the orders of those guys," Jake said. "Our fight ended in our previous lives, but it doesn\'t mean that I can forget everything. I will push forward to the enemy\'s lines, and you guys will make sure to follow behind. That will be all."
"You might die, even with that sword in your hands," Arilene said. "Still, if you accept to become one of my royal guards, you can probably join our ghost army."
"Not interested," Jake said. "If I die again, this time, I won\'t die with any regrets. I am fighting only for myself this time, after all."
"Even though you decided to let us follow you?" Arilene asked.
"That is just the best way to avoid you all from causing problems," Jake said while shrugging.
"... You really are the weirdest leader that I have ever seen," Arilene said.
"Don\'t mind him. You will see once the fight starts what kind of leader he truly is," Lana said and then sat down on the ground and let her back rest against a random tree.
"I guess that does make sense. Did everyone already figure out that you are the leader that is only good at using potions?" Jake asked.
"That is true. Because of that, we fooled Rhobat and Justin for a while, even when we were outnumbered," Lana explained with a smile on her face. "I boosted her magic to the point that she can even steal mana directly from the environment and the people around, and no one noticed that."
"Wow, that is indeed impressive… Louise," Jake said.
"Hahaha, don\'t be so mean to Lana all the time. She also improved her skills," Louise said.
"Her throwing skills? When she throws potions, she never misses now?" Jake asked.
"... Jake, why are you always trying to mess with Lana?" Louise asked. "It makes me recall elementary kids trying to appeal to the girls they like by being mean to them."
"Hahaha, that was probably your best joke, Louise," Jake said. "Well, it might be weird coming from me, but I don\'t mean anything bad when I try to mess with her. I have the feeling that she is the type who gets carried away easily, so I am there to prevent her from doing that while acting like an older brother."