BXBX NOVEL Chapter 1566 - Broken (2)
It took Ron several minutes to calm down and to realize where he is and how the only person who could be at the door was Zula.
"Shit!" He cursed while rinsing his body as fast as he could.
Ron got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist.
"Zula! … Zula!" He called while going through the apartment.
Ron sat on the bed and hid his face in his palms. Zula is not here, which means that his words really hurt her, and more than words, his tone was hostile.
Since they started dating, he never raised his voice at Zula, and he didn\'t mean to do it now either, but he ended up lashing out.
How can he fix this? Ron has no idea, but he knows that he needs to talk to her. He went to the closet to dress up.
His mind was all over the place and he forgot about using the lens to find Zula, but even without it, he had a good guess where she went.
…
Ron knocked on the door of Zula\'s room. No one answered. He reached for the doorknob and confirmed that it\'s locked. Well, he can pick it with ease, but it will not be appropriate.
Ron used his Eve-lens to confirm that Zula is inside. He saw her outline, it seems that she is squatting… and based on the heat surrounding her body, she is in the shower. Why is she squatting? Ron didn\'t know, but he knew that he needs to wait until she is out of the shower.
He sat on the floor, next to the door of Zula\'s room, and waited.
Zula was in the shower for a long time.
She was hurt and angry and she sobbed uncontrollably. Why did he yell at her? Why was he mean?
Zula was delighted that things are falling in place and that they are finally making a progress like a normal couple. Her mind was full of happy thoughts and plans for the next few days and hopes for the future, and then this happened.
She knows that Ron has issues, but does that give him the right to lash out at her? Zula heard the poison in his words, and she is confident that if she was closer to him, he would attack her.
Zula loves Ron to pieces, but she can\'t be with him, not like this.
She is only a sixteen years old girl and she has a heart which is not made out of stone, and it\'s aching. And for the first time since she met Ron, she was afraid of him. During those few seconds, when she was clutching onto the doorknob of the bathroom door, she was afraid.
Zula\'s anger subsided after some time and her sobs reduced to whimpers before her tears fell in silence.
Her heart was overwhelmed by the pain and sadness, as if she lost something important. And she did. With every hurtful word from Ron, her trust in him crumbled. She trusted him that he will not hurt her and that he will keep her safe, but now that trust is gone.
Sure, she believes that in a mission, he will protect her and take a bullet in her place without a second thought, but this pain is much worse than a broken bone or a bullet wound. This pain is deep and agonizing, and it\'s making her soul scream.
He can protect her from enemies, but can he protect her from himself? Unfortunately, Zula had this answer.
Zula got out of the shower, dressed up, and checked the time. It\'s time for breakfast, and it\'s a long time since she ate last time, but she does not feel hungry. Not even a little bit.
Her sight fell on the palm-sized crystal figurine of a hummingbird which is on her work desk. That is one of the few personal things she has (that are not clothes or books).
Zula remembered a sunny afternoon. She was on a date with Ron and one street vendor was selling crystal figurines. She really liked the hummingbird, its wings are spread out and the details are fascinating, but what was truly breathtaking was how it refracts the light, making it feel like that little hummingbird exploded into a million rainbows as if it\'s brought to life by some ancient magic. Ron saw Zula gazing at the figurine, and he bought it for her without asking for the price. At that time, she thought that he is the most caring boyfriend in the world. What a joke!
Zula grabbed the figurine and threw it at the wall angrily. She watched the figurine break into three and fall down on the floor.
Her heart ached even more at the sight of the hummingbird which was now without its wings. That is how she feels, like someone cut off her wings and she will not be able to feel the joy of flying anymore. And the tears swelled in her eyes again.
"Zula?" Ron called from the other side of the door. He knocked a few times before calling again. "Zula? Can we talk? Please, let me in."
Zula wiped the tears with her palms quickly, as he can see her. "I don\'t have anything to say. Go away!"
"But I have things to say. Will you let me in, or will I talk from the hallway for everyone to hear?"
Zula bit her lower lip and didn\'t respond. She is hurt and there is nothing he can say to make it feel better. Why doesn\'t he go away?
Ron listened carefully and with his Eve-lens he can see that Zula is standing on the other side of the door. She is hugging herself and not moving. She was never like this. Zula was always welcoming, it seems that he really hurt her this time.
"Zula, I will talk even if you don\'t want to hear it. And I will stand here until you let me in. Can you let me explain? …" Ron stopped talking when Zula opened the door.
She left the door open and went to the sitting area, but she didn\'t sit.
Ron got inside and closed the door behind him.
When he was three steps away from Zula, she took a step backward. "That\'s close enough. Say what you want to say."
Ron exhaled. He really wanted to hug her, but he can see that she is not willing. "Zula, I know that I messed up. I saw the door opening and I had a flashback and I thought it\'s my stepmother. I had no intention to say those words to you."
Zula blinked rapidly while trying to suppress her tears. "And now what?"
Ron shrugged helplessly. "I don\'t know. You tell me. Whatever you want, I will be fine with it."
Zula took a deep breath. "I will come later to get my things from the apartment."
"Zula, don\'t do this. I didn\'t mean…"
"Do what?" Zula interrupted him. "You didn\'t mean it, you had no intention… but you did. You said those words to ME. Do you expect me to stay by your side and fear when the next flashback will happen? I wanted a toothbrush, Ron… a toothbrush! I can\'t walk on pins and needles around the person who should make me feel safe. Because you don\'t make me feel safe, not anymore. Your words hurt me, regardless if they were intended for me or for someone else, you said them to me. And what if the next time you decide to punch your imaginary enemies? Or maybe to shoot or stab them? How am I supposed to live like that?"
"That will not happen."
"You don\'t know that!" Zula screamed and her face contorted in pain for a second before another flood of tears gushed out of her. "You don\'t know that…" She repeated in a shaky voice.
Zula forced her legs to move and she got out of her room. And she ran… down the hallway, up the stairs, over the training grounds, and on the trail… she ran.
Ron stood in Zula\'s room frozen for a long time. It felt as if he is made out of sand and pebbles and if he moves even a little bit, his whole body will crumble into nothing.
Eventually, his eyes moved and landed on the broken figurine on the floor. \'How fitting...\', he thought. \'Broken… just as I am…\'
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